Prior to him crying right now, the only time that I ever saw him cry was the afternoon that he’d been released from prison, and the day that I put a million dollar check in his hand, telling him to invest it in his business. He was so tough. Always wanting to be so strong. Prison made him that way.
“Awww. Daddy, you crying? Please don’t. You going to have me crying, and ruining my make-up,” I let him know, and he picked his head up, looked at me, and with tears rolling down his handsome face, he tried to laugh through it, pretending that everything was all good.
It was Tank’s and I wedding day. We were doing exactly what I told him I wanted to do for our wedding, which was coming to my church, going before God, and allowing Him to bless our union this way. It’s crazy because when Tank proposed, everyone thought that I was going to be extra as hell and probably have some kind of fancy destination wedding. I remember at Tank’s birthday party, after he proposed, Tommie told me that she was afraid to hear what the budget was going to be. I shocked them all when I told them that I wanted to have the wedding at the church. I loved this man too much, that I really wanted it to work, so we had to go in front of God with this one.
I wanted a pastor that truly knew me to be our officiant. I reached out to pastor Dukes months ago. Pastor Dukes had long gone retired, and had given the position to his godson, but he was very much still in the church, still attending every Sunday morning. This man has known me since I was a child. He’s seen me go through pretty much every phase of my life. I remember those Sunday mornings, closer to the time when he was getting ready to retire, he would always get on me, telling me how I needed to find myself a good man, and just all those other things that older people try to get in your head about.
I was proud to call him and ask him if he could be Tank’s and I officiant, and I think he was even prouder to take on the responsibility. With that, we went through some pre- marital counseling with Pastor Dukes. We were both willing to put the work in, so counseling was something that we took serious.
I loved the way that Tank and I had gone about our marriage. We went to the courthouse and literally didn’t say a word to anyone. We got through those first two months of marriage with it being a secret, not announcing it until our gender reveal, shocking everything with it. As much as I was eager to love him, and marry him, there had been a fear lying there as well, feeling like things might change once we got married, but that wasn’tthe case at all. If things did change, they only changed for the better. Tank was a perfect husband. He was the exact husband that I imagined him to be.
“I just got emotional all of a sudden. I’m standing here with the most beautiful bride that I’ve ever seen before in my life. You gotta understand, baby that when I was locked up, I missed out on a lot of your milestones. I remember when you graduated from pre- k and was headed off to kindergarten…man that broke my heart because I was supposed to be there. I missed your 5thgrade graduation, 8thgrade, and 12th grade. I never got to see you go off to prom, or all the other major events in your life. I used to be sitting in my cell, praying that I didn’t miss out on the chance to walk you down the aisle on your wedding day. I really had fears of you walking down the aisle alone, or another man doing it,” he said, letting go of my hand for a second, so that he could reach into the small pocket on the black tux that he was wearing, and pull out a handkerchief.
He wiped the tears that had fallen, and his eyes were red after. He moved me with his words. It felt like I was fighting for my life, standing here, trying not to cry. Our wedding coordinator that we’d hired, she was standing right in front of the double doors that led into the couch, and her eyes were on me, looking at me, damn near threatening me not to start crying because it was almost our time to walk into the church.
“You’re here for me now daddy, and I promise you that that’s all that matters to me. I no longer dwell on those things. I’m too busy soaking up the moments that we currently have with each other. You came home from prison, and you immediately jumped into action, being the father towards me on the outside that I always wanted you to be. You’re an amazing pop-pop too. I think you might just be lil Tank’s favorite person in the world,” I announced, and when I said that last part, he laughed throughthe smile that was on his face, knowing that what I was saying was true.
My son loved his pop-pop. My daddy made it his business to come over every single day to see his grandson. He liked to go out in the backyard with him, and he would literally sit there with him for hours. It was funny as hell when both my parents would be at my house, and they would fuss, wanting to both hold lil Tank, and neither one of them would budge to give him to each other.
My daddy though, his ass had baby fever. I’ve caught him a few times telling my mama that he wanted another baby, and every time he said it, she looked at his ass like he had three heads, and she would fuss him out. Her ass loved my daddy down though. She couldn’t even hide it anymore. For a while, I had been feeling like the two of them were messing around, but she would never show it in front of my sisters, and I. Mainly because she knew that we would talk trash, since she talked so much shit, saying how she wouldn’t get back with him. Since my gender reveal, she was all out in the open with my daddy. This lady just might go untie her tubes, so that she could give my daddy a baby, and if she did that, it’s going to take a lot of people to get me, and my sisters off her because girl, please!
“Come on. They’re ready,” Yvonne, the coordinator said, walking over to us.
She asked if we were both ready, and we assured her that we were, and from there, she walked over to the double doors, pulled them open, and with my arms mingled in with my daddy’s, I heard the beat drop.
The beat dropped, and that opening line of the song that always did something to me came on as we took our first step.
“At lasttttttt. My love has come along,”Etta James beautiful voice crooned out, as we walked into the church, and everyone was standing up out of their seats, waiting for us.
The plan was for me to look ahead because I knew that if I turned my head, and I looked at anyone in the crowd, and I saw them crying, that I would probably start crying too.
As we were walking, I could hear whispers, saying how beautiful I looked. My dress was custom made. I didn’t go to some fancy designer, either. This dress was made with love. My grandmother made it for me. I gave her the vision that I had, and she got in the lab, and she pulled something off that could have gone for sale in one of those fancy wedding gown boutiques out on Miami beach. I wanted the kind of dress that would fit my personality. Everyone knew I was bougie, and I liked nice things, so my dress had to scream that.
It was an off the shoulder, ivory gown. The corset at the top hugged my waist, showing that yet again, God favored me because nothing about this tiny waist gave that I just had a baby two months ago. I was snatched, and when the women in my life saw me with the dress on, I received compliment after compliment.
At the neckline, it was heavily embellished with crystals, and pearl beading. There was a high thigh slit, that gave sexy, but it was also appropriate, since we were in church. My chocolate skin against this ivory was truly breathtaking. I did something different with my hair. Since the dress was strapless, and I really wanted my face to be appreciated, along with my neckline, I opted on an updo, with a hair piece that had pearls, and crystals, just like the dress. For my shoes, I went with Jimmy Choo, and when I say this heel was nasty…. I mean nastyyy! I liked that it had the pearls on it to match the dress.
So, when people were whispering, saying how good I looked, they weren’t exaggerating.
I continued to walk with my daddy, and my eyes cut to the front, seeing my sisters, my two nieces Tailynn, and Tru, along with Blake. They were my beautiful bridesmaids. I wasn’tsurprised that Free, and Blake were fighting back tears, but when I saw Tommie standing there, with a tissue in her hands, wiping her eyes, she almost made me start crying because I wasn’t used to her tough self crying.
It didn’t make the situation any better for me when I looked at my man, and I saw his fine self standing there, legs slightly spread apart, with his hands folded down in front of him, and he was biting his trembling lip, trying not to cry. When that tear dropped from his eyes, I caved in, and one fell from mine too. Seeing Tank up there in that white tux, with those fresh twist in his hair, full beard, sharp line up… God, I wanted to jump on him. He looked so good!
We made it to the front of the church, and Pastor Dukes cleared his throat, and spoke into the mic.
“Who presents this woman, Dionne to be married to Tavion today?” Pastor Dukes asked.
“I do,” my dad confidently responded.
He kissed me on top of my head, and then he reached for my hand, so that he could lead me to the steps, and Tank came over, took my hand, as I walked up the two steps. Once I was up, he placed me in front of him, looking at me in that quiet way that always told me everything. At times, Tank didn’t even have to say anything, but that’s when his love was always the loudest.
His eyes were red from the tears that had fallen. I could tell that he wanted to kiss me so bad, and Lord knows that I wanted to do the same thing, but we waited until that part of the service led us there.
“You look so beautiful, baby,” he let me know, smiling at me in appreciation.
His eyes stayed on my face for a few seconds, and then they dropped down, going for my waist, and that’s the part of my body that damn near had his jaw on the floor. I snappedback beautifully, and it felt good to see my man standing here, enjoying it.
“And you look so handsome,” I had to let him know.
