“Wish they would have let a nigga out at least ten years earlier. It would have been a goal of mine to have another kid. I’m too old now. 55 years old. I ain’t got no business trying to have more babies. My baby just told me that she got a baby on the way. That’s going to be some hood shit, bringing a newborn baby into this world, and becoming a pop-pop,” he shared, and I laughed.
“You’re not too old though. You got men out here much older than you that have newborn babies. Go and have one,” I told him, and he sucked his teeth.
“Why you trying to act like you wouldn’t self- destruct if you found out that I got a baby on the way? You’ll lose your fuckin mind,” he said, and I didn’t say anything.
I didn’t want to let him know if he was right, or wrong. He removed himself from standing in front of me, and he stood on the side of me. He crossed his arms just as I had mine, and instead of looking at me, he dropped his head, so that he could look down at the concrete.
“You got some beautiful girls, Nette. Tommie talk more shit than a motha fucka, but I love her like she mine. I love Free too. I already pulled her to the side, telling her that I got some ink on me that I want her to cover up. I also want her to add on to some pieces that I have too. It’s fucked up what happened to Nivea, and I would have loved for her to still be here to see me come home. This my first time seeing your girls in person. I spent so many years of my life locked up, angry at you for moving on, so I remember threatening you, telling you not to bring another nigga’s kids down to the prison to see me. Granted, you weren’t going to bring them regardless, but I still felt the need to remind you. I just want to let you know that I’m over that shit. I ain’tgot no malice in my heart when it comes to you, and your girls. I already pulled Tommie, and Free to the side earlier, telling them that if they need me, they can reach out. Those my daughter sisters, so Ima look out for them too,” he let me know, and you could really hear the maturity in him.
Years ago, when I kept popping out baby after baby, Dionte called me everything but a child of God. At one point, it felt like his ass even hated me. While he was locked up, life continued to go on for me, and that’s where we would clash at. To hear him tell me that he was accepting of my daughters, and the malice was no longer there made me happy.
“How you feel about Tank?” I asked, and he laughed at that while shaking his head.
“That nigga got my daughter far the fuck gone! That’s what I think of his ass. When she was sitting at the table with us, she said ‘daddy’, and both of us answered. Almost stomped that nigga the fuck out,” he voiced, and I cracked up, listening to him tell me this.
“That ain’t her typical type though. She usually goes for those older, bougie niggas,” he said, and I nodded, agreeing with him.
“She made an exception. He loves her. He makes her happy, so I’m in full support of it,” I commented.
“I am too. He a cool dude. We had a long conversation. I get the feeling from him that when my daughter is in his care, that she’s protected, and that means a lot to me because that was one of the things that I battled with while I was locked up. It fucked with me that I wasn’t out here to protect my daughter. He seems to have everything in control though. I love my daughter to death, but I know Dionne is dramatic as fuck, so it takes a special kind of man to deal with her,” he said, and I groaned at that, knowing that Dionne was my emotional child that would probably forever stress me out.
I felt like Dionte and I were in a good place. We stood out here, sharing a lot of things with each other, but I never fixed my lips to tell him about the secret that Dionne had told me. It would make him want to kill me, and anyone else involved. I didn’t want him to risk any chances of going back to prison.
“Go ahead back inside. I’m not going to hold you up any longer. I know you want to finish spending time with your family,” I went on to say, removing myself from my car, and I picked my purse, so that I could place it back on my shoulder.
“Why you say that like you ain’t my family too? We family too, Nette,” he corrected me, removing himself from my car as well. The way he said it made me weak in my knees.
It made me want to tell him to go back inside, tell everyone goodnight, and that he would see them in the morning, so he could come back home with me. I couldn’t do it though. I couldn’t fold. I talked too much shit. Everyone was counting me out, saying that they didn’t believe me when I told them that I didn’t have any desire to fuck my baby daddy. I would go out sad if I fucked this man on his first night home. At least I could give myself a little grace if I were to fuck him maybe a month from now, but to let him fuck on his first night home would be diabolical.
Dionte walked over to the driver’s side door, and he opened it for me. I stepped closer, so that I could place my purse down on the seat. Once it was down, I was going to take a seat, but he reached his arm out, wrapping it around my small waist, being able to cuff me just like that. He pressed his strong body up against me, and it felt like I was leaning into steel. I haven’t been this close on him in years. Back when we were together, Dionte was a stall, skinny boy. His arms felt much different. He smelled so good too, having the ability to make me melt. I was a fifty-five-year-old woman that hasn’t been in love in years. I haven’t been giddy like this in so long. I stuck to myself, hung out withmy kids, and my friends, never giving my time to any men, so it’s been so long since I’ve been touched like this.
“My dick clean,” he told me, releasing the waterfalls with his words.
I cleared my throat, turning my head around, so that I could look at him. I was looking for a smirk or something, just to see if he was joking, but he wasn’t. He was dead serious.
“Dionte, no. It’s your first night home. You don’t even know what you want for real. I haven’t slept with a man in years. When I decide to, it’ll be with someone that I know it’ll end with substance. You’ll fuck me tonight and go pull up and fuck the rest of the bitches that were keeping you company while you were locked up. No!” I had to be firm.
Trust me, I wouldn’t mind getting my rocks off, but I knew who I was dealing with. This man hasn’t had pussy in years. He was going to go on a fuckin spree. Dionte looked good. Women were going to be throwing themselves at him, and he was going to fall for the bait.
“That be your problem. You think you know every motha fuckin thing. I won’t even put pork, drugs, or alcohol in my system. Yet, you really think I’m going to come home, and stick my dick in any bitch that allows me to? This dick clean baby, and I plan to keep it that way. When I bust my first nut, I want it to be with you,” he aggressively said into my ear, and then he kissed me.
“Move Dionte. For real,” I was literally shaking, trying to get away from him.
He laughed because he knew what his ass was doing. He kissed me on the back of my head, allowing me to get in the car. I did just that, started it up, and then I rolled the window down.
“Dionne told me that you be going to church. Ima meet you there on Sunday,” he told me.
“Okay,” was all I had for him, wanting to get away.
“I’m still not sold on the idea of just having one child. I would want another one,” he voiced, and I laughed at that.
“I’m not understanding why your telling me that. I tied my tubes after Nivea,” I let him know.
He walked up closer to the car, folding his arms, while looking down at me.
“I got you pregnant at fifteen years old, sweetheart. I was your first everything. Your mama was crazy as fuck, and you knew that she would fuck you up for getting pregnant at a young age. Yet, you still let me get in your ear, and we conceived Dionne. With that, you don’t think that I have what it takes to make you untie your tubes, and give me another baby?” he asked, and like he just told me the biggest joke of all, I laughed right in his face.
“Whatever weed them niggas out there smoking, it must be a bad batch, and you caught secondhand smoke. Nigga, I have grandkids. Three, and one on the way. There’s no kind of dick in the world that’ll make me lose my common sense to the point that I would willingly have my tubes untied and have another baby. Shop is closed. Go find one of those young hoes. Goodnight Dionte. I had a long day, and I’m ready to go home, and get in bed,” I said, pressing the button, so that I could roll the window up.
