“I’ve given it some thought. You said you felt vulnerable because of your vision loss. What if Sledge never made it to the cabin? Even if you never hold a gun in your hand, you must be able to protect yourself. You have the training, but you don’t have the practice.”
“I’m not ready for this. For Pete’s sake, I can barely scramble eggs,” she exclaimed. She signaled for Ice to take her into the house.
“Come on, Sparky. Where’s the spunky woman who beat the shit out of Rocker a few hours ago?” Ty insisted.
“He deserved it. Rocker acted like an ass,” she shot back.
“Wait. You didn’t hear me out,” Ty said, following her.
“Most people don’t suggest handing a blind woman a gun,” she seethed. “You know you don’t point a weapon unless you plan to use it.”
“It’s not only about the weapon. You need to develop your other senses. It’ll make you more aware of your surroundings,” he argued.
“Then what? You want me to shoot blindly into the air to alert someone to my distress? Do you know how badly I felt knowing I was unable to see my attacker?” she said, fighting the tears. Her emotions from the night before bubbled to the surface. The fear, anxiety, and terror when the gun went off made her feel lightheaded. Her chest grew heavier, making it hard to breathe.
“Scarlett,” Ty gripped her by the shoulders. “Focus on me, listen to my voice. Breathe through your nose and out your mouth. You’re having a panic attack,” he instructed.
She pushed at his chest, embarrassed, frustrated, and flustered. “Leave me alone,” she said, struggling with her words.
“No. Not when you’re in this state. I wantyou to breathe with me.” He held her hand to his chest, getting her to breathe with him.
Scarlett crumbled. Ty picked her up and took her inside the house. He laid her on the couch and retrieved a cold cloth from the kitchen. She felt like a rag doll as he picked her up and set her on his lap.
Pressing the cool rag to her forehead and face, Ty spoke softly. “You’re safe here, Scarlett. I want you to feel it wherever you go. If you return home, I don’t want you confined to some damn room. What if you went out with your friends? You need to know how to handle yourself. Sledge and Rocker won’t always be there to protect you. I understand you’ve led a very independent life. This must scare the daylights out of you. I’m only trying to help you.”
“I know,” she said, leaning into his hand. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. When I went into the fire to get those kids, I didn’t hesitate because if I died, it didn’t matter. Yet, when Jeremy attacked me, it scared me. If Sledge hadn’t shown up, I don’t know what might’ve happened.”
“Yes, you do,” Ty said. “You might’ve died. Have you participated in any of the groups for veterans?”
She shook her head. “No. Everyone wants to know my story. I don’t want to discuss the attack.”
Ty brushed the hair from her face. “Sparky, all of us experienced some form of attack. We either watched people turn on each other, or we went through something similar to what you did. It’s up to you to discover what works best. I’ve watched you. You hate feeling vulnerable. I’m only trying to help you get your power back.”
“I don’t know how you think having a gun will do me any good,” she grumbled, feeling better.
“It may not do anything. Hank will take us to the north pasture. It’s empty. I want you to hone your skills bypracticing your other senses. You may never use it, but you’ll feel more confident. “
“Have you heard from Leo? Did they arrest Jeremy?” she asked.
“He’ll contact us when they do,” he assured her. “Why did you have a panic attack?”
“I recalled the night before,” she confessed. “I felt his hands around my neck, squeezing the life out of me. I twisted, turned, and got away. Jeremy surprised me with his strength for someone his age.”
“He’s a farmer. They do handle a lot of heavy lifting, ” Ty suggested. “You’re recovering from the attack. Since you asked earlier about working out, I’m assuming you haven’t done a ton of physical activity,” he reasoned.
“You’re right. I’m sorry I freaked out,” she said, feeling ashamed for mistreating him when he went out of his way to help her.
“Has Claire talked to you about PTSD?”
“Yes. We discussed it,” she said quietly.
Ty lifted her chin, bringing her attention to him. “It’s a real thing. It can cripple the strongest soldier, and it’s nothing to feel ashamed about. If you’re feeling better, we can start slowly and see how it goes. If you get spooked, we can stop.”
“Why does this matter to you?” she asked.
“Because you matter to me,” he impressed upon her.
“What about Ice?” she asked.
