“I know,” Byron said, his tone softening. “I figured it was because not very many people had ever tried to help you, up to that point. And, of course, there was also the ‘debonaire and roguishly handsome’ thing.”
“Pretty much,” I agreed, thinking of Heath. “But you should know that you’re by far the nicest person I’ve ever crushed on.”
He snorted. “Sounds like you need to get out more. Oh, and call Bea one of these days, will you? She’d love to hear from you.”
Byron’s adoptive grandmother had let me stay in her house until I was old enough to get emancipated minor status through the courts. I was better at keeping in touch with her than I was with the others, mostly because Bea would blow up my phone if I left it too long without checking in.
“I will,” I said. “I should let you get back to your eyelid crusts, though. I just wanted to say hello.”
“Gee, thanks,” he replied. Then his voice sobered again. “You know, I can’t believe I’m spouting this kind of Hallmark card crap, but... there’s a pack out there somewhere for you, Tony—if you want it, I mean. You just have to be open to it when it shows up. Voice of experience speaking here.”
My throat tightened.
“I’ll keep it in mind.” I tried my best to keep the words light, and wasn’t sure how well I succeeded. “Anyway, tell everyone I said hi. Maybe I’ll come down and visit one of these days.”
Did my voice waver on the last word? Shit.
If it did, Byron was too engrossed in fussy toddlers to catch it. “Yeah, you should do that. I’ll pass it on to the others. Night, Tony.”
“G’night, Byron,” I rasped, and ended the call.
Eventually, I managed to get to sleep even without the edibles, because it had been a hell of a few days, and I was exhausted. That lasted until four thirty-five a.m., according to my phone screen, when a call jangled me out of a hazy nightmare involving my stepfather chasing me through an endless corridor full of omegas trapped inside barred prison cells.
“Whu’ the fuck?” I gasped, flailing upright.
The phone continued ringing. I didn’t recognize the number. With questionable judgment of the newly awakened, I fumbled for it and accepted the call.
“Who’s this?” I demanded. “Why are you calling in the middle of the fucking night?”
“Tony?” Heath’s voice sounded scraped raw.
My breath caught.
“Sorry.” The alpha’s Irish accent was broader than usual; like he was drunk... or wrung out from several days of drug-induced, nonstop fucking. “I had to find out—you were with Gage at the silos. When I was—” He cut himself off. “Did I hurt you? Did I... do anything to you?”
The phantom sensation of an alpha sniffing up the side of my neck and burying his nose in my hair made me shiver.
“No,” I said shortly. “No, you didn’t do anything.” A sick laugh, devoid of humor, choked its way past my control. “Well, I mean... you didn’t do anything tome. But you mated Jez.”
“I don’t want to talk about that,” Heath said quickly, and I didn’t think I was imagining the hint of desperation behind the words.
My temper snapped, as interrupted sleep stripped away my inhibitions. “You don’t want totalk about that?” I echoed in disbelief. “Okay, how about we talk about the fact that I had to ‘keep an eye on you’ while you were balls-deep in my former friend, despite the fact that you’d been balls deep inmenot so long ago? How aboutthat?”
Heath swallowed audibly.
“Tony... I didn’t choose this,” he said hoarsely. “And neither did she. When we were together, you said it was casual... that it didn’t need to mean anything—”
Self-loathing at my own cowardice flooded my chest.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I choked out. “I’m done. I didnotsign up foranyof this crazy shit! Just... leave me alone, Heath. Don’t contact me again.”
“Tony—” Heath began.
I ended the call and powered the phone off, slamming it face-down on the bedside table. A horrible sense of wrongness at what I’d just done crept across me like an illness. Groaning, I flopped back on the mattress and dragged the pillow over my eyes.
There’s a pack out there somewhere for you, Tony.Byron’s words played back to me, over and over.You just have to be open to it when it shows up.
I would not cry.
