“Not till we’ve talked,” Gage said. “But at this point, I think you’re gonna get your wish one way or another. Ain’t that right, Knox?”
I licked my lips, trying once more to remember all the reasons this couldn’t work.
“Maybe so,” I said.
FIFTY-SEVEN
Jez
SOMEHOW, WE ENDED UPin a messy sprawl on top of and next to the sofa. I’d lost my jeans and panties along the way; Tony was naked except for a worn pair of boxer briefs. The alphas were in a bit better shape when it came to clothing, but Knox had at least taken off his button-down shirt and his polished leather loafers.
I sat curled in Knox’s arms on the floor. His low purr rumbled through my chest, soothing parts of me I hadn’t even known existed before I met this pack. Heath lay on his back on the couch with Tony draped over his chest. One of Heath’s arms looped around Tony’s shoulders to steady him in place. His other arm flopped over the edge of the sofa cushion. His hand rested on my head, and his fingernails scratched idly at my scalp, spreading warmth down the length of my spine.
At some point, I would need to get up and take a shower. I could feel Knox’s release dripping out of me, mixed with my own leftover slick. On the streets, I’d been used to being filthy during stretches of time when I couldn’t afford a gym membership with locker room shower privileges. But after only a few weeks with regular access to bathing, I’d already started to go soft.
Besides, this was a different kind of filthy. If I wasn’t careful, thinking about Knox’s seed inside me would have me trying tostart a new round of sex with the alphas. And Gage was right. We did need to talk first.
As if he’d heard my thoughts, Knox drew in a breath, his purr trailing off.
“I... shouldn’t have lost control like that,” he began. “It sounds like a cliché to say that this kind of behavior isn’t like me, but... itreallyisn’t. I owe you an apology, Jez—”
“No, you don’t,” I mumbled, still floating in my post-sex haze.
“I do, though. I didn’t eventhinkabout using protection.” He sounded appalled at himself.
Gage had been lounging back against the couch as much as his injuries allowed, with his good hand wrapped around his swollen knot to ease the ache. At that, he lifted his head to look down at us.
“Jez had a full panel of tests after her heat, along with her pregnancy test,” he said. “She’s clear. And it’s not like you’ve got a laundry list of high-risk sexual encounters in your past, Knox.” He paused, his heavy brows furrowing. “In fact—and maybe I shouldn’t ask this, since it’s none of my business...”
“We all know you’re going to ask anyway,” Heath said. “Was Jez your first, Knox?”
I craned around to catch a glimpse of Knox’s expression, surprise threading through me.
“Not quite,” Knox said, sounding uncomfortable. “Some friends in college dragged me to a brothel outside of Las Vegas. I went along with it so they’d stop harping at me, but it was, erm... fairly awful, if I’m being honest.”
Gage nodded. “I had you pegged as asexual, and probably aromantic, too. Might need to change that to demi, on both counts.”
Knox sighed. “It seems so.” His dark eyes met mine. “I know the scent match plays into this, Jez—and all the complicationsthat come along with it. But it’s only since I really got to know you as a person, that I can’t seem to get you out of my head. I hope that’s all right, after all the things I said to you before.”
I can’t forget that you’re my scent match, any more than you can forget I’m yours. But I don’t think trying to act on that would be fair to either of us. Not after everything that’s happened.
The words had lived inside my memory in vivid detail, ever since he’d said them. I thought I’d been fine with what he’d told me. Ihadbeen fine with it.
Knox wasn’t finished, though. “You’re brave. Loyal. Fierce, even when people hurt you. If it wasn’t for you, Gage and Tony wouldn’t be here. I can never repay you for that. But this feeling is something different. It’s more than gratitude. I’ve never felt like this about another person before, Jez.”
