Whatever I’ve been doing these past months—it’s nothing. A hollow distraction. A way to numb myself. A mistake I’ll bury so deeply it can never touch us.
Maya is temporary. A passing urge. A hunger that will burn itself out. Soon she’ll be nothing more than a closed chapter, a shadow dulled by time, a name I won’t even remember once this mistake turns to dust.
But Ceci…
She is my heart.
My constant. My forever.
Chapter 17
Hey, gorgeous. Miss me?
Cecily
I collapse onto the bed the moment I hang up with Colin. After his jealous outburst yesterday, I didn’t even have the heart to tell him that Ethan asked to spend his birthday here, which means we won’t be heading back until tomorrow.
As expected, his reaction wasn’t good. But like I told him, Ethan rarely asks for anything, and there was no way I was going to say no. Not today. Not on his birthday. I ended the call after promising him a video call when Ethan blows out the candles, clinging to that small concession like a peace offering.
When I heard Alicia tell him that a friend had stopped by, I knew jealousy would follow. Colin has always been possessive. Still, I wasn’t prepared for the intensity of it, for the way his questions sharpened into something colder. It felt less like concern and more like an interrogation. Every word carried suspicion, as if he were already convinced of a crime I hadn’t committed.
What unsettles me most isn’t his jealousy. It’s the split second when I felt guilty. Guilty for nothing. Guilty simply for existing in a space where another man happened to be.
That guilt has no place here. Not when I’ve done nothing but love Colin. Not when I’ve stood by him, again and again.
Eventually, I force myself up, determined not to dwell on it, and head to the kitchen to bake my son’s birthday cake.
Seventeen years ago, on September 8th, I held Ethan in my arms for the very first time. All the fear I’d carried for months vanished the instant his eyes fluttered open. When they found mine, love rushed through me. Pure, overwhelming, unshakable.
Colin wrapped his arms around me then, his chest warm and solid against my back, his chin resting on my shoulder as he looked down at our son with such pride, such tenderness, that I believed we were untouchable. In that moment, I knew we were going to be okay. The world could fracture around us, but as long as we had each other, we would be safe.
I miss that.
I miss the certainty his gaze once gave me, the unspoken assurance that I wouldn’t have to face life’s storms alone. Backthen, one look from him was enough to silence every doubt, to make me feel chosen. Loved. Seen.
Colin
Alicia and Ceci finish singing “Happy Birthday,” and Ethan leans forward to blow out the seventeen candles Ceci carefully placed on the cake she baked for him. Pineapple and strawberry, his favorite.
This is the first time I’m not beside him in that moment.
Even in the years when work ran late or traffic conspired against me, I always managed to arrive in time. To stand beside him. To watch him close his eyes and make a wish. I hate that this year I’m reduced to a face on a screen, that I couldn’t give him even that.
I school my features into something warm, something proud, not letting the disappointment show as Alicia darts toward the phone. She grabs it and turns the camera, her bright eyes and flushed cheeks filling the frame.
“Did you see everything, Daddy?”
“Yes, sweetie,” I reply, forcing a smile that feels both genuine and heavy at the same time. “I saw it all.”
She smiles, unguarded, and it tugs at something deep in my chest.
“Can you pass the phone to your brother, honey?” I ask gently.
She nods, but before she does, the camera catches the kitchen behind her. Ethan is cutting the cake. Ceci stands nearby, wearing that soft smile she saves just for the kids… and me. She looks content. Peaceful.
Something twists in my gut before I can stop it.
I watch as he hands the first slice of cake to his mother, then leans in to kiss her cheek.
