My eyes drop to his Adam’s apple as I let what he just said sink in. When I look back up into his eyes, he’s watching me closely, the anger is gone, but all his attention is on me. I clear my throat. “So, in translation, I fucked up your case last night and now you’re stuck with me. But the cherry on this shitshow is that my presence is a danger to my family. That my home and everyone I love are in danger because I wanted some fresh fucking air.”
His poker face is frozen in place, but his Adam’s apple bobs with a swallow. “That’s not what I said.”
“You can sugar-coat it all you want, Special Agent, but the ugly truth doesn’t change no matter how pretty you make it look.” I take a step away from him. Mason and Jax’s eyes are on me like hot lasers, I can feel it on my skin. I need to think. The last thing I want is to endanger my family.
“If you’ll excuse me, I need just a minute.” I say and turn to find my dad and Gray in the back, next to the stairs.
Walking past everyone, I go out the back door and walk to the barn. I need to talk to the one person who has ever truly understood me.
The hayloft is dusty and dirty and makes me sneeze every time I’m up here, but it’s private, and the large bricks of hay stacked on top of each other make me feel hidden so I can feel my feelings without an audience. Stepping across the wooden floor in my bare feet, careful to avoid nails that have worked their way up from the wood, I sit on a bale of hay and look out the hay door to the pond behind Marley’s stables.
It also has a beautiful view.
Taking my phone out of my pocket, I press my brother Tucker’s number. It’s never guaranteed he will pick up, he’s in the Air Force and sometimes, like Mason, he’s out on some kind of mission that won’t let him answer his phone. He sent me a happy birthday text yesterday morning, but that was a long time ago in military time.
It rings four times, and I’m about to press the End button when he answers, humor in his deep voice. “Hey gorgeous, everything okay?”
There is music and talking in the background, and he sounds like he’s having a good time. I hesitate and wonder if I should bother him with this right now, but then I hear a door close on his end, and it gets quiet.
“What’s wrong?” All merriment is gone from his voice, and he’s turned into the protective brother.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt your good time, I should have texted first to see if you were busy.” I pick up a piece of hay and twist it in my fingers.
“No, you should never text first if you need me. I can hear it in your voice, something’s wrong. Tell me.”
I take a deep breath and catch him up on everything that has happened between now and last night. “I don’t know what to do, Tuck, I want to keep everyone safe, but I feel saferhere at home.”
Tuck and I have always been close, there’s only a year between us, so we were almost the same age when Mom died. While Gray, Mason, and Marley were busy trying to take care of a newborn Breanna, my grieving dad, and the ranch, Tuck and I had each other.
“What does Mason say?”
“I haven’t talked to him yet, I needed to get out of there. I wanted to talk to you first. Last night when the agent dropped me off, Mason said I wasn’t going anywhere. But that was before everything that was said today.”
A low whistle sounds over the line. “Girl, if you didn’t have bad luck, you wouldn’t have any luck at all.” I can see him scrubbing his head with his fingers in my mind’s eye. “How do you feel about going with this FBI guy?”
I shrug my shoulders like he can see me. “I don’t know. He’s so serious, and he seems genuine, if not a bit controlling.”
I avoid using the word dominant because it makes me think of our brief encounter last night, when he dominated every part of me. Goosebumps make the hair on my arms stand on end.
“Most of those guys are.” He takes another deep breath. “Hey, I’m not in the U.S. right now, but I’m still on the continent. We’re heading back to base in the next couple of days. If you need me, I can be there in a matter of hours, okay?”
“That’s not why I called you, I know you can’t do anything. I guess I’m just a little scared, and I wanted to hear you tell me everything’s going to be okay.”
His voice softens. “Everything is going to be okay, hun. Mason, Gray, and Jax have your back, and it sounds like this FBI guy knows what he’s doing.”
A deep sigh escapes my chest. The sun is setting behind the trees on the other side of the pond, and everything is turning orange. The cicadas are buzzing, and the tree frogs arechirping; normally this would be a beautiful evening, but nothing feels beautiful right now.
“Tuck?”
“Yeah, hun.”
“Do you think I’m just extra weight on the family?”
His sigh of frustration travels over the line. It’s an insecurity I’ve always carried because the life I was born into is not something I care about at all. I’ve always felt like I’m just extra weight on my dad and Gray instead of a contributing member of the family.
It's always bothered me.
“No, I don’t. You’ve got to let this go, hun. Dad has always encouraged us to follow what is meant for us, and your path is your art. Just because you were born into the ranch life doesn’t mean it has to be forced on you. Dad knows that and has Gray and Mason to take care of the ranch.”
