My heart cracks down the middle, and my eyes sting. “Are you mad?” My voice shakes when I say it.
His head whips up and his eyes lock on mine. “No. Never.”
He lets go of my hands and wraps his palms around my face, pushing my hair back. “I’m only surprised.” His eyes volley between mine. “Are you mad?”
I shake my head between his hands. “No.”
“Tell me what you’re feeling, lepa.”
“No, you tell me what you’re feeling. I need to know.” A tear slips down my temple and he swipes it with his thumb.
His eyebrows dip like he’s angry. His eyes bore into mine. “You need to know what?”
“You’re angry.”
“I am a little. It’s in your eyes, you’re questioning me and it’s making you fearful.”
Well, when he puts it that way.
I shrink a little in shame. “It’s a big step.”
His head nods as he stares at me. “It’s a big fucking step.”He stops and closes his eyes. He stays that way for seconds, breathing. The anger leaves his face as he opens his eyes again. “I don’t want you to ever question my love for you, or my dedication to our life together.” His thumb tenderly moves across my cheek. “I will be here for the small steps and the big steps. And baby steps if that’s what you want. I’ve been next to you since the day I first saw you and no matter what, I’ll be next to you every day after this.”
I swallow, it sounds loud, and I nod my head. “Okay.”
“My first question is, is this what you want? My second question is, I thought you were on birth control?”
“I am on birth control, soifI am pregnant,” I whisper the word like someone might hear me, “this isdefinitelyoutside of my control.” I shake my head again. “I’ve always wanted children, maybe not quite so soon, but if I’m being given a gift, a gift created in what we have together, I want to take it.” My voice shakes again.
His lips tip up, all the anger in his features replaced with acceptance and affection. “Then that’s what I want, too, lepa.”
Fifteen minutes later, we are looking at a plus sign on two different tests sitting on my dresser. Fear is making my stomach shake and my jaw is clamped closed to stop my teeth from chattering.
He pulls me into him, his arms looped around me. “I had hoped to have you to myself for a while, but this makes me happy. You make me so fucking happy. I’ll give you as many or as few babies as you want, but no matter what, I love you with everything in me and I will take care of our family up to my last breath.”
The fearful beat of my heart eases a little in my chest, and I take a deep breath. I was worried about how he might feel, but now I know there was nothing to be scared of.
Except maybe pushing something the size of a watermelon out of me.
CHAPTER FORTY
EPILOGUE
JAX
WEwalk through the front door of the house to Mr. Harlow excitedly waiting in the foyer. He may be a grizzled hardass, but I swear the man’s fucking eyes sparkle when he is around his grandchildren.
I have a car seat in each hand with a tiny bundle in each one, receiving blankets with pink flowers are tucked around each bundle. Over my shoulder is a big diaper bag loaded down with more baby shit than I have ever seen.
Mason and Sloane appear from the kitchen, excited smiles on their faces. Beckett is sitting on Mason’s hip. The boy is a carbon copy of Sloane with green eyes and black hair. A door upstairs slams and Kinley comes trotting down the stairs, her long blond hair flying around her face with each step. Breanna is not far behind her.
Tucker couldn’t get away, but he called to check on Marley last week and promised to come home on his next leave to meet his nieces.
The girls have been in the NICU for the past four weeks since they came a month early, little Niki was ready, but Sofi was still comfy so Marley had to have an emergency c-section. She is walking behind me, I offered to help her in and go back for the seats, but she insisted we all walk in together.
The morning Marley got out of bed and her water broke, splashing onto the hardwood, we both knew it was too early. My heart rate has never spiked that high before. Turns out, Niki punched through her placenta and then on the way to the hospital, right through the cervix.
I’ve never been so fucking scared in my life. When they told me they had to take her to the OR, the fuckers wouldn’t let me in with her. I lost my shit, and Mason ended up shoving me against a wall. I apologized to the nurse for the obscenities later.
