The most heartbreaking thing to happen to me since I was twelve happened right then. She pulled her hand from mine and rolled onto her other side, to face away from me.
It took nearly the entire day to get Marley discharged and back to the ranch. Kinley, Sloane, Elly, and Breanna were waiting for us. Callum flew them back after a phone call from Mason after we got to the hospital.
I carried her into the house to her room, the room I just spent the last few nights with her. Jesus, fuck, it feels like a lifetime ago.
As soon as the girls saw the dried blood in her hair, they took her from me and pushed me from the room so they could get her in the shower and clean her up. Being away from her feels wrong.
“Jax.” I hear Gray call from the top of the stairs. I’m sitting outside her door, listening to the mumblings of the girls on the other side as my heart squeezes in my chest. I look up and he tilts his head to the bottom of the stairs. “Come talk with us.”
Dimitri and Vasilei are at the bottom of the stairs with their guys and a small part of me feels bad because I mostly forgot about them. Dimitri steps forward when I step off the bottom step and speaks in our language. “I have to get home.” His face warms as he says, “My wife is pregnant. It’s still early, so she is sick a lot, I need to be there for her.”
Any other time, I would be happy for him, but right now all I can muster is a is a smile. “Congratulations, cousin.” I grab his shoulder and pull him into me for a hug, this time he doesn’t resist.
He mumbles in my ear. “Let me know when the wedding is, da?”
All I can do is nod.
Vasilei is next to him and pulls me into a hug. “Brana, she will be fine, in time. Just let me know when the wedding is and I’ll be here to dance with the bride.” His shit-eating grin takes over his face. “Or one of her sisters.”
Pulling away, I give him a half smile. “You have to get through the brothers first.” He only laughs and winks. I take a step back. “Thank you, for everything.”
They both nod. “If you ever need anything, just call,” Vasilei says.
Mr. Harlow, Mason, and Gray are in the office and I take my usual place by the window. My attention goes to the stable and paddock I’m used to watching and it feels wrong that Marley’s not there with her horses.
In the distance, I hear Gray talking through the details of how they will take care of her horses and keeping everything together so she doesn’t feel overwhelmed when she comes back to us.
To me.
“Jax, are you going to stick around?” Gray pulls me out of my stupor.
I’m not sure if he’s testing my dedication to his sister or trying to push me out, but now is not the time for him to push me in any direction. Without moving, trying to keep calm, I turn my head just enough to look at him.
“Why the fuck would I not stick around? I’m not leaving her.”
He’s on the other side of the room, leaning against the doorin his usual spot, with the desk and Mr. Harlow between us. Mason is on the other side of the large picture window that I’m leaning against, but in my peripheral, I see him tense. He’s preparing to intervene, I’ve seen that stance a hundred times.
“She’s not well right now,” Gray growls.
Pushing off the windowpane, I face him and square up. “All the more reason for me to be here. What do you think you are doing right now?” I’m so pissed that I think I’m mixing English and Serbian as I talk.
Mr. Harlow stands and pivots to be between us and holds a palm up to each of us. “Now, hold on. This is not the time for a fucking pissin’ match.” He turns to me and says, “No one expects you to leave, Jax. Marley wants you here, she’s told us that ten times.” Then he turns to Gray. “You need to turn it down a notch. I know you are used to being in charge and being out of control and scared for her is throwing you into a tailspin. But, think about how Marley will feel if you stay on this path. Is this the hill you want to be on right now?”
Gray hangs a hand on his hip and pinches the bridge of his nose with the other as he looks at the floor. Trying to look as non-threatening as possible, I’m not sure if I’m succeeding, I step around the desk and walk up to him. I feel Mason on my back and Mr. Harlow’s chair moves across the floor when he hastily pushes it out of the way.
Stepping up to him to let him know I’ll go toe to toe with him any day, he lowers his hands to his sides and we lock eyes. “I love her. I’m not leaving her. When she feels better, I’m going to ask her to marry me. Fucking like it or not, I don’t give a shit, but you better fucking accept it.”
I open the door and go right to her room. The bedroom door is open and I see Kinley sitting on the bed next to her, holding her hand. Marley’s hair is still wet and laying across the pillow, but what hurts is that I see her fingers curled around Kinley’s hand. I can’t see her face because she’s curledon her side, turned away from me, so I can’t see if she still has the unfocused gaze.
Swallowing around the lump in my throat, I pray to whatever entity is out there that she doesn’t reject me. She can push me away all she wants, I will come back every time. But if she rejects me, consciously makes the decision that she doesn’t want me in her life, I don’t know what I’ll fucking do.
Kinley looks up at me and says, “Jax is here to see you. I’m going to let him sit with your for a minute.” She gets up and walks around the bed to the door.
“Is she responding?” I ask.
Shaking her head with a tight, forced smile, she continues to walk down the hall.
I walk into the room and the smell of coconut and vanilla drifts into my nose and the lump in my throat gets bigger. But being this close to her is making me feel calmer on the inside, everything about her soothes me.
