Harris shifts slightly, setting his glass down on the table. “College?”
“Uh, no. Like last year.” I laugh softly because that is definitelynota long time ago—I only wish it was. “I hate talking about it. He was not the guy for me.”
Harris doesn’t say anything right away, but I can feel the weight of his attention, like he’s reading between the lines of what I’m not saying.
“And?” he finally asks, his voice curious.
“And.” I sigh. “That’s it. I loved how nothing rattled him—until I realized nothingmotivatedhim either.”
Harris rests his elbow on the back of the couch, his body angled toward me. “So he wastoolaid back?”
I nod, swirling the wine in my glass. “Yeah. I was working long hours trying to grow the yoga business—and he’d be at our apartment meditating or talking about how ‘everything works out when the universe decides.’ Um, no, the universe isn’t going to pay the rent on the apartment we shared, dude.”
The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. My nostrils flare as I remember how Parker always had a spiritual excuse for not taking responsibility. If he didn’t get a job, it was because he wasn’t meant to yet. If I asked him to help clean the apartment, he would say,You’re too attached to material things, Lucy.Fuck you, pal! Sorry for wanting a clean floor!
Lazy asshole.
How stupid was I to tolerate his shit for so long?
Ugh!
Harris studies me as if he’s trying to decide whether to say something or let me stew. Then he reaches over and takes my hand in his. “For what it’s worth, you deserve someone who’s all in. Someone who doesn’t need you to carry the whole weight.”
“That’s ...” My breath catches. “What Annabelle always says.”
“She’s smart.”
“She is,” I whisper, my fingers tightening around his for a moment before I pull back, exhaling the last of Parker from my system. “What about you?” I switch gears. “What was your last relationship like?”
Harris shifts slightly, running a hand through his hair. “Messy.”
I tilt my head. “Messy how?”
He lets out a soft laugh with no humor behind it. “She was using me.”
My stomach twists. “Using you forwhat?” His body? His looks?
“My giant axe.” Harris winks at me but again—no humor.
I laugh, but there’s a hollowness to it because I know he’s deflecting. “Come on, don’t do that. Be serious.”
He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Status. Attention. Dating an athlete was a flex for her. I thought she was in it for me, but turns out, I was an accessory.”
I frown.Is he talking about college here?“That’s awful.”
“It wasn’t great,” he admits, looking down at his hands. “She’d post pictures of us online like we were the perfect couple, but when it came to real stuff—supporting each other, being there—she checked out. And I was too blind to see it.”
My heart aches for him, but I know that kind of blindness all too well. “What was the breaking point?”
He exhales, shaking his head. “After a bad game, I got benched for a couple of weeks. I was in a rough spot, and instead of sticking around, she started hanging out with some guy on the rival team. I walked in on them making out at a party.”
“Damn.” I set my glass aside, shifting closer to him. “You didn’t deserve that.”
“No.” His jaw tightens. “But it taught me a lesson. People who are only around when things are good? They’re not worth it.”
I bite my lip, the heaviness between us settling like a shared wound. “How long were you together?”
“A year,” he says, shaking his head again. “Too long, considering how it ended.”
