Jon laughed at her. “You have nothing to be jealous of, I love you.”
Steph allowed her lips to portray a small smile now as she said, “Sorry. Please carry on.”
“I bought Vicky a very large and crude sapphire ring she’d seen and commented on for her birthday. She presented it as an engagement ring, it wasn’t. I came back to England for business more and more until I was living and working in London while Vicky was still in America. We couldn’t even agree where we should live and despite this Vicky and her family pushed for a commitment I didn’t want and couldn’t give as I was already married.”
“Did you still not tell her about Penny?”
“I have never told anyone about Penny, just you. She didn’t deserve to know about Penny or the baby. The more she and her family pushed, the more I realised what a mistake I had made by becoming involved with her.”
“I bet you loved being bossed around by her and her family,” she mused.
“See, you know me. I wondered if it would help if Vicky moved here. I was clutching at straws in terms of making things right so as not to hurt her.”
Steph was stunned. How could he value himself so little? For all that he told her that she deserved only the best of things in a relationship when it came to himself, he had settled, believed he didn’t deserve any more than what others gave him. With a smile she realised that as much as he was in control in the boardroom and maybe even the bedroom, he was clueless in relationships.
“Did she move here?”
“No, I ended things. She got herself an attorney and because all the business stuff had been done over there, it cost me big, but it was a small price to pay. All ties were severed. I think shemay have been more interested in my bank balance than me all along.”
Steph felt her heart ache at the thought of anyone trying to use or take advantage of him and the sadness in his voice hurt her more than she would have thought possible. Pulling her feet free of him, she made her way along the sofa until she was stretched across him, straddling his lap and stroking his face gently.
“I think Vicky was stupid to have not moved heaven and earth to be with you.” Steph ran her fingers through his hair before gently lowering her lips to his and kissing him softly.
Jon responded in kind and as his hands fisted in her hair his kiss grew more forceful making her almost purr in his mouth. Pulling back he spoke seriously, “Steph, if you are determined not to have sex with me tonight, you may want to stop kissing me and get off my lap.”
She moved back onto the cushion next to him. “Maybe I should go.”
“Stay, please,” Jon almost pleaded. “No sex, I just want to be with you and I did once say that I didn’t know how to sleep with you without having sex, but maybe I should try.”
“Okay.” Steph wondered whether she would be any better equipped to ‘sleep’ with Jon than he was to do it with her.
“How did Dr Smarmy take you cancelling your future date with him?”
“It wasn’t a date and I still wish you wouldn’t call him that,” said Steph but continued. “He called earlier, but he was okay. I did take the opportunity to tell him that us seeing each other was a bad idea because I think he wanted more from it than me.”
“And what did he say to that?” Jon sounded irritated.
“Not much, but he was fine about it. He is actually a very nice man, always was and he always treated me very well, but his determination to be a doctor was his priority and I was in nostate to be in a proper relationship at uni, or since really, until now,” she almost whispered.
“But you and Simon?” Jon took Steph’s hand in his.
“I don’t think I was ever in love with Simon. I went out with Charlie for a few months and I did love Charlie but I wasn’t in love with him. He was good for me, but he was just so nice,” laughed Steph.
“And that’s a bad thing?” Jon thought about the conversations he’d had with Jason and Eddie about her previous relationships.
“Not as such, but I like, perhaps need, a bit more of a challenge. That whole thing with Chris would have been very different with Charlie, at least the first time. Whereas you were so pissed off about it and marked his card. You once said that Charlie was too laid back with Lindsay. I would have walked all over him, taken advantage. After I introduced the two of them, I encouraged and facilitated them seeing each other and soon after they were dating. I decided that if nice, safe, sensible Charlie wasn’t my type, I should go for someone different and Simon was certainly that. We met in a club. He came over and we talked and I knew that he wouldn’t be the walkover that Charlie had been. I found that attractive and took him home with me that night. To start with it was okay and I liked him, grew to love him I suppose.”
“What changed?” Jon headed into the kitchen and began making coffee for them both.
Steph knelt up and turned around so that she could see Jon as she continued talking. “I guess Simon changed, or maybe he just allowed the real him to come through. Ultimately I believed he was what I deserved. I told you before that he was never a real charmer, but he became more apathetic about me and everything became a battle and as much as I like a challenge it became a chore. He drank too much, spent too much, let medown too frequently. We stopped going out together and we even stopped having sex very often, but I didn’t know how to get out of it at that point. I always worked hard and I focused my efforts on my career. One day at work somebody talked about her abusive ex and by the time she finished I was in tears because she could have been describing me. I went to see Simon and he could see what I was building up to, so told me all about the school secretary he’d been shagging. I told him it was over, he smiled and said,whateverwhich summed it up really.”
“That’s awful Steph.” Jon passed her coffee to her.
“The worst part is that I didn’t really care either; I had gone past miserable and hurt, I think I was just relieved by the end and the thought that I wouldn’t have to endure sleeping with him again was the greatest sense of relief, although we hadn’t had real sex for some months, but on the rare occasions he touched me, he made my flesh crawl,” she admitted.
“The man is a bigger idiot than I had given him credit for and I had already been generous in that. I hate to think of you unhappy and used, never mind abused, darling. I just wish I had punched him instead of Charlie,” said Jon angrily.
“Charlie particularly enjoyed that part of the evening.” Steph offered a wry smile. “But you don’t need to get mad about Simon, it is very much in the past,” insisted Steph as she put her coffee down and rested her head on his shoulder.
