“Yes, yes you will,” I say to myself after I hang up.
Staring out of the window again, I can’t help but wonder if this is going to prove to be a mistake of epic proportions to take Anita home when up to now neither of us have really acknowledged that we’re even seeing each other.
Anita
I’m like a cat on a hot tin roof, waiting for Scott to say something about what he saw. I don’t know what he saw. Did he see me and Dec kissing in his car, or did he only see him drop me off?
We passed on the path, him leaving the house and me entering it. He offered me a nod and then he was gone.
Now I am waiting for him to return as I have already decided that if he doesn’t say anything, I will because I need not to have this hanging over my head. I don’t know Scott very well, although he’s been here some months, but he’s a bit of a closed book really. He was brought up in the weird and abusive church with Liv where bad things happened, not that I know the details of what Scott was subjected to but knowing what happened to Liv it’s likely to have been pretty awful. I do know they had lots of rules and if they were broken, they were punished harshly. Because of this, I have no clue how he might react to having seen me with Dec. Will he see it as breaking rules on my part or just deceitful? If he does, will he feel obliged to tell our dad what he witnessed?
My mind is awash with all these thoughts and worries, meaning I will need to clear the air with Scott at the earliest opportunity and certainly before I go with Dec to his mother’s house. If I go with him.
~~~
I’m still worrying about the fallout from things when the front door opens. My family have all come home at the same time. They appear to have formed an orderly line judging by how they walk into the living room where I am sitting nervously. First comes my mum, then dad, both of my brothers and finally Scott who looks at me, without a single word besides his nod of greeting and acknowledgement.
Immediately, Dad begins chatting about the function we’re catering the following morning. He has already planned a trip to Dec’s kitchen early the following morning to collect the things in the fridges there, but tonight, between us, we will prep a few things before making a very early start to ensure everything is fresh.
After a brief discussion on the plan for dinner, I watch as Scott goes upstairs. I make my excuses and follow him.
When Scott moved in, we had to move things around a little. My parents, me and each of my brothers had our own bedroom and the other room upstairs was an office for the catering business. Scott slept on the sofa for a few nights, but I think Dad thought he was getting itchy feet and was likely to move on, possibly without leaving a forwarding address, so the office got relocated to the conservatory downstairs. The office space was then transformed into a bedroom for Scott. It’s not the biggest space, but he seems to like it.
I tap on his door that is shut. His door is always shut whether he is in there or not. I guess he values his privacy and I respect that. With my brothers, I would have knocked the door, but already been opening it, hoping not to catch them doing anything that brothers might do behind closed doors. Scott and I don’t have that familiarity, so I knock and wait.
After a few seconds, the door opens and he retreats to his bed where he sits and watches me, I presume inviting me in.
“Hi.” I have no clue what to say. What I want to say.
He studies me for a few seconds. “Hi.” He smiles what looks like a sympathetic smile. He knows why I am here, meaning he knows about me and Dec.
“Do you mind if I close the door?” The last thing I need is for my parents, especially my dad to find out about me and Dec by overhearing a conversation between me and Scott.
“If you want to.”
I do.
With the door closed, I awkwardly shuffle from one foot to the other and then come out with a few garbled words. “I don’t know what you know, what you saw…me and Dec, well there’s not a me and Dec, not really, not like serious…
He laughs, but unlike some occasions when I feel he is laughing at us, this is different. I’d never really noticed how attractive he is, but he is usually brooding and scowling. Now with his brilliant smile lighting up his whole face, I can’t help but see just how handsome he is.
“Look, whatever you and Dec are doing is between the two of you. It’s none of my business. So, if you are asking me to keep my mouth shut, I can do that, however, what I won’t do is lie for you. I don’t like lies and deceit. In my experience they have a habit of coming back and biting you on the arse…biting me on the arse, so as I say, I won’t lie for you. If anyone asks me if I have seen you and Dec together or kissing, I’ll tell the truth, but so long as you are discreet, there’s no likelihood of anyone asking that, is there?”
I shake my head, unsure what else there is to say.
“If it’s serious, you should be the one to tell the old man.” Scott laughs. “He won’t like it, but then it’s not his choice.”
I shrug, unsure what to say now. I’m unsure if it is serious, for Dec anyway. “I’m not sure Dad would see it as not being his choice.”
We both laugh.
“The time isn’t right,” I say, hoping Scott will leave it there.
“For you or Dec?”
“Maybe both of us.” I feel slightly guilty now, thinking that I have agreed to visit Dec’s mum with him and am now protesting that the time isn’t right to tell my parents that we’re involved.
“You have to do what you think is right, but please don’t let someone else be the one to tell Dad when the time is right.”
