My smile is beaming at his use of Cupcake, and he smiles back in response to my reaction to it.
“So, we’ll keep it low key, casual.”
I nod at his low key but am unsure what he considers to be casual.
“Play it by ear.”
Again, I nod, but manage to interject something. “And talk, can we talk about things as we go?”
“Of course,” he agrees. “Did you drive?” he asks looking around.
“Yeah, I’m on the car park around the corner.”
“I’ll drive you round to get it,” he tells me more than offers.
“Or I could leave it. It’s a secure place. I can collect it in the morning.”
Dec looks confused and is frowning that confusion before he asks, “But how will you get home? It’s likely to be the early hours when you need to leave and taxi—”
“What the fuck?” I screech, startling a rather loved up looking couple who are passing by. “You expect me to come back with you, shag you and then leave, in the middle of the night?”
He looks startled by my outburst or at least the meaning behind my words.
“Is this your idea of us? Low key and casual means a fuck buddy?” I ask, slightly stunned.
“I thought this is what we agreed,” he says and honestly, I want to punch him for thinking that is what we’ve agreed to. What I’ve agreed to. “Although I wouldn’t have said fuck buddy.”
The guilty expression on Dec’s face would disagree that he wouldn’t have called us fuck buddies. I do not want to be a notch on his bedpost, on anyone’s bedpost. I have misjudged men in the past and made mistakes, of colossal proportions but no more. No matter how good a shag he might be because experience has taught me that I only get hurt in those situations, hurt, and left to deal with the fallout.
“I did think we might be exclusive though, unless you’d rather not and then I would just request the courtesy of you telling me and vigilance with protection.”
I am agog at his arrogance, stupidity, call it what you will. I have essentially just protested at being sent home in the early hours as a fuck buddy and he is still discussing details, specifically the details of being free to shag other people but without the inconvenience of picking up an STD.
“Un-fucking-believable! You fuck who you want, Dec, I don’t care. No matter how good sex with you is, as amazing as it makes me feel, nobody has ever made me feel quite as cheap and worthless as you and I have known worthlessness and cheap, so no, no us, no deal. Goodbye,” and then I slap his face, hard. Determined not to cry until I get to the privacy of my car. I knew that I would break once I reached the security of my single bed in my parent’s box room.
Chapter 6
Declan
The sound of banging is beginning to infiltrate my current state that is somewhere between drunk and hungover, awake and asleep. I think it must be the gremlins in my head stirring but as hungover and awake begin to win the battle, I realise it’s the door.
“Shit,” I mutter, realising that I am still in the club, having got drunk and fallen asleep here the night before. “Fuck!” I curse as I get to my feet and find both Lindy and Laura nearby, passed out and naked.
The banging continues and the thudding of my brain rattling against my skull is getting worse. I throw on last night’s jeans and plod, barefoot to the door. Opening it I wince at the daylight hitting me.
“What the fuck?” I’m stunned to find him here. He’s supposed to be on honeymoon, isn’t he? “What the fuck are you doing here?” I ask as he pushes past me and is heading towards the bar where I left Lindy and Laura lying naked.
“Fucking hell!” he bellows.
Yes, he’s found the girls and has woken them up judging by the series of sleepy,Morning MasesI hear. He spins so quickly that I almost collide with him and his angry face.
“Declan,” he snaps, and I am unsure if he is pissed with me or the fact that he has just seen my sister fuck buddies naked.
“Girls,” I say, already passing them their clothes and a twenty-pound note. “Go and get some breakfast yeah, and I’ll see you both later for work.”
They are good girls and don’t pout or make a fuss, they simply begin to dress and take the cash for food. With one each side of me they kiss my cheeks with abyefor me and my brother who is following me upstairs to my office where I will find pain relief.
I am scrambling through the drawers of my desk, hoping I can find some headache tablets when Mase speaks, having remained surprisingly silent since we ascended the stairs.
