“I'll just pop and see if Jim wants anything?” Tasha muttered nervously before rushing off to see her husband in his office where he wasworkingwhich translated to avoiding the shit that was about to hit the fan.
“Hey, baby.” He looked up with a smile as she stood in the doorway. “Was that Deanna I heard?”
“Mmm, which is why I'm here. I don't know if this is such a good idea,” she admitted.
Jim got up and closed the distance so he could close the door behind her affording them some privacy.
“Then don't do it, honey.” He smiled as he leaned in to kiss her lips gently.
Immediately she began to soften and yield against him. “I think it may be a little late to back out now, unless you think I can go back in there and say,well thanks for coming over and now you need to sod off home, what do you reckon?”
“I see your point, baby. So, maybe you just need to get your ass out there and let Danielle do the talking.”
“Maybe. Oh God, what a mess! I feel so sorry for Danielle and Deanna, and I can imagine how Danielle feels.” Tasha sighed as Jim pulled back from her and studied her face.
“Your situation, our situation with Connor was nothing like this,” he began making Tasha shake her head.
“That's not what I meant. I was thinking of being sixteen and pregnant...” she allowed her voice to trail off and her expression to betray her feelings of sadness, confusion and shame.
“Honey, I’m so sorry. Sometimes I kind of forget that stuff,” he told her, brushing her hair back and kissing her face tenderly.
“It doesn't help that Lizzie keeps looking at me as if I’m some kind of fairy god mother who can wave a magic wand and make this alright.”
“I get that, but you don’t have a magic wand so maybe she just thinks you can make this easier for her friend. That by being there it will be less emotive, I don’t know.”
Tasha thought Jim’s idea made sense, that by being on neutral ground with other people there Deanna was less likely to explode in anger, disappointment or sorrow and by the time they got home she would already be calming down and beginning to accept the reality of her daughter’s situation. When she thought back to the fear and abject horror at finding herself pregnant at sixteen, Tasha felt sick. She remembered the realisation that she was pregnant with Liam’s baby and the terror that had filled her, unable to tell anyone. The crippling fear that nobody would help her and ultimately that she’d be forever destined to live a life with Liam and her parents. A lifetime of being used and abused by them all, her and undoubtedly her child, that poor innocent baby who had never asked to be conceived, but it had been. As had Connor, but whereas her son had been conceived in nothing but love her first child had never known love, nothing about its existence had been touched by love, quite the opposite.
“Hey, come here.” Jim spoke with such gentleness and affection as he pulled her in for a loving embrace that she could feel tears escaping down her face. “Jeez, baby, this is too much. Let me go out there and tell them you’re not well because you certainly shouldn’t have to put yourself through this, not if it’s taking you to those old, dark places.”
“I just feel bad for how she’s feeling,” Tasha replied with a long hard sniff. “And then I feel bad that I’m making her situation about me.”
Before Jim could respond further Lizzie's voice sounded with a knock at the door. “Tasha, are you coming back?”
Pulling the door open, Tasha smiled weakly between her husband and her stepdaughter.
“Lizzie, just wait a minute, Tasha and I need to speak.”
“I’ll be fine,” Tasha assured Jim before their son began crying from upstairs.
“I'll go,” offered Jim, already climbing the stairs to where Connor had been sleeping.
“Come on, then.” Tasha took Lizzie's hand to re-join Deanna and Danielle. “Sorry,” she called as she grabbed the drinks Sandra had finished for her.
Sitting opposite Deanna and Danielle, Tasha waited for someone to speak, but after an awkward silence that seemed to last forever Lizzie looked across at her with pleading eyes.
It looked as though Tasha’s role in this included facilitating the necessary conversation. “I'm sure you're wondering why we invited you over, Deanna,” she said with a strained smile.
“Yeah, well kind of. It's not more security issues is it? That was a pain in the ass,” she said making Tasha laugh at her honesty.
“No, nothing like that and as bad as it was for you it was a hundred times worse here.” She laughed but decided that things needed moving on. “Maybe you'd like to start things, Danielle,” suggested Tasha hoping the floodgates would now open.
“Okay—erm—Mom—this is tough for me and I didn't know how to say this at home which is why we're here.” She began to flounder.
“Are you taking drugs?” cried Deanna dramatically.
“No, no. God, what do you take me for?” she asked and then seemed to think about those words, the question that she really didn’t want her mother to answer and certainly not after she told her what she had to tell her.
Tasha took Lizzie’s hand in hers and gave it a firm squeeze before encouraging Danielle to continue. “Maybe if you explained what happened.”
