“There she is,” Sandra told him as he spotted Tasha and began to gurgle and fidget excitedly in the other woman's arms.
“Hey, baby,” cried Tasha. “How have you been? Mommy missed you.” She took him from Sandra and held him close to her chest, exciting him further as he smelled her aroma and the promise of a meal.
“Looks like he missed you too.” Grinned Lizzie.
“I think he missed my boobs most of all,” Tasha replied, moving Connor so he was cradled in her arms but facing out to try and avoid him triggering a major milk leak with an audience.
“Eww!” Philip’s voice held a hint of disgust. “I still find that real icky.”
“Hey, you don't like the fact that I breastfeed my baby you may need to find somewhere else to have dinner tonight.” Tasha bumped her hip against his as she passed by him.
“Oh, step-mommy, you wound me. And I said I find it icky, I didn't say it put me off dinner,” he replied with a false expression of offence making Tasha laugh again before looking at Connor.
“I think your big brother is attention seeking again, but we love him so we'll feed him and forgive him for being so needy.”
“Right,” called Sandra, “I will see you all in the morning.”
“Thank you for taking care of Connor,” said Tasha, surprising herself and Sandra when she leaned in and kissed the other woman warmly.
“No problem.” Sandra headed for the door leaving the Maybury family together.
Chapter 24
The sound of laughter rang around the dining room as conversation flowed and banter ensued. Tasha was feeling happy and tearful at the same time and wondered how this must feel for Jim; to have all three of his children in his home, possibly for the first time without other people being there, without outsiders or extended family members. He looked happy, truly happy and content. Looking at Connor sitting next to her in his bouncing, cradle seat that was on the table Tasha wondered how much of his older children's lives Jim had missed out on. The older children who flanked him at the table, adoration clear in their expressions and right then she made a vow to herself that he would miss out on nothing of Connor's life if she had anything to do with it.
Watching her own child smile as the other children's voices became excited or when they laughed made Tasha smile around at them all. The simplicity of sharing a meal and good humour as a nuclear family was so fulfilling and yet still a relatively alien concept to her. She couldn't remember ever doing this with her own parents and siblings. Sometimes when they all went to her grandparent's house they shared meals like this, like the first time she'd taken Jim home with her, but never with her parents. Meal times, if you could call them that in the Bailey family home were usually fraught and anxious at best. Her dark, sad thoughts were taking over everything else and she was forgetting about the pleasant thoughts the evening had evoked in her, leading her to less pleasant memories including Travis' words about Dan and thehelptheir mother was giving him.
“Tasha,” called Jim, sounding as though it wasn't the first time he'd spoken to her.
Looking down the table at him he smiled, but looked concerned.
“Lizzie was asking if she could help to bath Connor.”
“Yes, of course. In fact, I might just go and run his bath now, before he falls asleep which will throw his routine out completely.” She got to her feet, lifting Connor up onto her shoulder. “Come up whenever you're ready Lizzie,” she called back as she left the room.
Watching her leave, Jim was now convinced that something had happened between her going down to the stables for her ride and her returning from it. Something more than Amanda. Something involving Travis, and their biggest common denominator was Dan.
****
The bath was ready and Tasha was just undressing her son when Lizzie appeared behind her.
“You sure you don't mind me staying over?” Lizzie’s silent arrival startled Tasha.
“No, course not, this is your home as much as ours, you know that.” Tasha carried Connor into the bathroom and lay him in his floating sponge.
“Can I ask you something, personal?” Lizzie sounded hesitant making Tasha nervous.
“Course, but I may not answer if it's too personal, for your sanity as much as anything if it involves your dad,” grimaced Tasha.
“Eww, you are really making this awkward,” shuddered Lizzie before continuing. “Do you think you were too young to have Connor? I know you love him and I guess you wouldn't change it, but he wasn't planned, was he?”
Tasha was washing Connor's hair, causing him to complain as she considered Lizzie's question and the reason for it.
“I don't think twenty-two is too young to have a baby as such. If you're in a secure relationship with a home and some financial backing, which I had, but I guess it is still young and it does limit your choices. I’ve lost work because I was pregnant and now I’m struggling to find work that will fit in with having a young baby. You're right that I wouldn't change a thing about Connor, but maybe if I could have planned it in a year or two years’ time it would have been, not better, just more convenient. Perhaps I could have established myself as an actress before becoming a mother, but I love him more than I thought possible and if it was a choice between having him now or never, I vote now.”
“Even though he wasn't planned at all? I remember you refusing to admit you were pregnant for a long time,” said a wide-eyed Lizzie. “I was really worried about you, and Daddy, he was flipping out because you refused to fully acknowledge what was happening.”
“Oh Lizzie.” Tasha sighed as she finished rinsing the suds from Connor's head. She sponged his whole body before sprinkling and splashing water over and around him making him kick his legs and wave his arms excitedly, creating more splashing. “Look at you,” she cooed, “you are such a big boy splashing Mommy and Lizzie.”
