“I wish he'd come with us.” Sighed Tasha. “I’m very worried about him, him and Juan.”
“I know, honey, and I really do appreciate you inviting him to join us here, but he needs to see what his life might be like without Juan in it and that would have been distorted here, with us,” said Jim.
“I know, but I still can't believe he and Juan are going for a temporary break to considerall options, especially Juan and that bloody ridiculouscousin come wifeidea.” Tasha rolled away so her back was facing Jim.
“No, nor me, but we need to let them make their own decisions.” Jim pulled her close against him. Holding her gently, hoping to ease some of her tension and worries about and for everyone else.
“How? How do you do that? Let them make their own decisions? What if they make really stupid decisions that are obviously wrong? I won’t ever manage to do that with Connor.” She sighed with an overwhelming feeling of uncertainty as she thought of her baby wanting to make his own choices, especially the wrong ones.
“You will. We'll do it together, unless he makes you cry and then I will kick his ass.” Jim smiled, kissing Tasha's bare shoulder. “I think Lizzie felt a little pushed out when you didn't extend the invitation to her.” Jim sounded slightly nervous to be bringing the subject of Lizzie up as she was still a bone of contention after the fiasco of Danielle's pregnancy meeting.
“Jim.” Tasha sighed, rolling over to face him again, “Philip is having a really tough time and that is why I invited him to come with us. Lizzie is not having a tough time, well, except one of her own making and I didn't exclude her for any other reason than that.”
“Baby, I love you and I get your anger and hurt but you can't hold this against Lizzie forever and you are the adult.” He avoided the temptation to point out that Lizzie was his child and he wouldn't have her punished for one mistake indefinitely. He also stopped short of reminding her of her altercation with Abby the day after they got married. Tasha had correctly accused his sister-in-law of holding a grudge against a child, although he couldn’t deny his daughter’s crime against Tasha was far greater than the one against Abby.
“Yes, I'm the adult, but maybe you need to tell Lizzie that, not me. You might want to remember that she’s hardly a little girl though.” She pouted immaturely.
Jim said nothing, he just stared at her until after replaying some of her grandmother’s words she continued to speak.
“I just thought the people I had around me now loved me and respected me enough not to play me that way. I just feel, I dunno, used, like I’m not valued like I thought I was. Shit! I sound like a stupid kid myself now, but I am hurt, Jim. No thought or consideration was given to me in that whole thing. Like she was adding some extra duty to an employee’s list of responsibilities. I know it would have involved you too, and Connor and Danielle's baby but I honestly think Lizzie thought if I said yes it was signed and sealed and then that would be my life, providing Danielle with a get out of jail card but at the expense of...”
“Your own freedom and liberty,” finished Jim.
“Yes. I’m struggling to get past the fact that Lizzie thought of Danielle, the baby, even Deanna before me. She considered their needs and what was best for them, but me, I didn’t even get the most fleeting of thoughts and that hurts but it pisses me off too,” Tasha admitted then went further in her admission. “I have no idea how I remained as calm as I did. It took all of my strength not only not to say some awful and hurtful things to Lizzie, but I really did have a near overpowering urge to slap her really, really hard and I am not a violent person. I hate violence.”
“I get it, everything you’ve said, really I do, and I don’t think you wanting to slap Lizzie and say hurtful things is a real concern because you didn’t act on it, but I won’t let you make this a bigger issue than it needs to be and you’re holding onto it a little too tightly. So, pushing Lizzie away has to end, you’re going to have to forgive her.”
“I know,” Tasha admitted with a loud exhale as she realised that her grandmother had been spot on about her husband only allowing her to remain angry at Lizzie for so long. “I'll text her later, offer an olive branch, okay?”
“Good girl.” Smiled Jim, leaning down to kiss Tasha gently on the nose again making her smile, too.
“Thank you for allowing me let off steam and being a spoilt brat about it.”
“You weren't, honey, but Lizzie made a mistake, no more, a huge one I know, but we've all done that. Now, sleep.”
Chapter 29
Breakfast was lively; Paul was trying, a little too hard, to be the host with the most and possibly building bridges with Jim who was trying as hard to be receptive to Paul's friendly behaviour. Connor was gurgling loudly as he had the undivided attention of both Celia and Pippa. Only Tasha and Dan remained quiet.
“Tash, did I tell you that I might be coming out to The States for a shoot? Susie reckons young Brits in the U.S. will make a fantastic feature for the store and gain valuable publicity,” said Pippa excitedly.
“Susie always reckoned there was a gap in the market for U.K. style across the pond and I believe the store is looking to merge with a U.S. chain, so it makes sense. You can stay with us when you come over, if you get as far as L.A. if you want, can't she?” Tasha turned to Jim.
“Sure, you can. You can even get up at three in the morning when Connor decides it's time to get up and play.” Laughed Jim.
“I'd hate to deprive you both of that,” replied Pippa as Connor reached up and tugged a handful of his aunt's hair.
“I think you've offended my son.” Grinned Jim before Dan began to make his excuses to leave.
“Dan, can we have a chat?” asked Tasha nervously.
“We? Which we and what about?” Dan sounded offhand and suspicious, but Tasha detected nerves too.
“Me and you, and Jim.” There was no way Jim would be excluded from this conversation. “Just a chat about everything, stuff, life.”
“Do I have a choice?” Dan’s offhand tone went direct to terse, gaining Jim's full attention and his intervention.
“Of course you have a choice,” snapped Jim, “I mean, it’s not like you’re a child, is it? You’re an adult, a man, responsible for your own choices and actions.” Jim’s words had been chosen deliberately and as Tasha glanced at her grandparents she could see they’d picked up on their meaning, but had Dan? “Are you free for the three of us to talk, to catch up, or not? If you are let's do it and if you're not tell us when you will be and we'll do it then.”
