Shaking her head at the message illuminated on her phone, Tasha suddenly felt overwhelmed by all the things she did feel and attempted to order them in her mind before she replied.
She put her phone away in her pocket and felt sad again as she thought about Gail and her dead husband; she was right, if she didn’t sort this with Jim properly she could end up feeling how she’d felt last night and this morning indefinitely, and she didn’t want that. She could feel the urge to cry rushing over her again, making her sigh and question whether this was PMS? Maybe, maybe not.
Halfway home, Tasha realised it was all uphill going back, and a lot farther than it had seemed earlier, and it had felt a long way going, but now it felt miles farther, but she had no intention of calling Jim to come and rescue her. She also didn’t think she had enough money for a cab and although she could pay when she got home, Jim would make the point that she had gone out unprepared and further justify his need to provide for her, so she would plod on, despite a headache, backache and the familiar stomach cramps. Maybe she should have bought more chocolate. This weekend just kept getting better: Mickie, Bria, wedding plans, stepchildren, family, 4thJuly celebrations, arguing with Jim, PMS and now stomach cramps signalling the imminent onset of her period.
She entered the house and found Jim pacing the hall wearing grey sweatpants, a tightly fitting white t-shirt and a worried expression on his face as his hands fingered his car keys.
“What’s up?” she asked.
“I was worried, Tasha. You said you were coming back over an hour and a half ago, are you okay?” he asked, still concerned.
“Sorry, I didn’t think it would take me that long to get back.”
“But you’re okay? We’re okay?”
“Yes, fine, me and us. I might just go for a bath.”
He cautiously placed an arm around her waist and gently kissed her on the cheek.
“Would you like some badly made tea bringing up?” he asked smiling.
She wasn’t really sure what she did want, but could see Jim was making an effort so with a half-smile nodded. “If only for you to get some practise in.”
“It would be so much easier if you only drank coffee,” he called as she passed him to ascend the stairs.
Lying in the bath, Tasha felt comforted and cuddled by the warm water lapping around her. It gave her time to think about everything that had happened. Had she overreacted to the Mickie situation? No, she hadn’t. She should have known about her. Jim should have made her aware of who and what she was, had been. She knew now though and Jim seemed more than sorry and she had no doubt that Mickie was in the past and probably didn’t even rank as a fling. She smiled to herself thinking about Jim and decided that they should probably discuss their future and all it entailed; wedding plans, Jon’s movie project and maybe they should keep previous relationships to their Q and A sessions because she didn’t doubt that Jim was honest then, she just had to ask the right questions. She thought about Gail again. She remembered her description of her husband and she really could have been describing her and Jim, except he wasn’t dead and now she was on the verge of tears again at the thought of Jim being dead and her being without him.
She laughed at herself and wondered whether she was going completely mad, or whether PMS was just having a laugh at her expense this month. Maybe she should just go and find Jim and throw herself at him, shag him senseless all afternoon and night, that would make her feel better, always did and it might be her last chance for a couple of weeks because after her period she would be in London again, without Jim.
Stepping from the bath, Tasha found she was still coated in bubbles from being submerged to the neck in them, but her hair was still virtually dry courtesy of being piled on the top of her head and clipped in place. She rubbed most of the bubbles off her skin before wrapping herself in a soft, fluffy towel and went back into the bedroom where there was a cup of tea waiting for her. She smiled then took a sip of it before pulling a face and putting it back down.
“I’m getting better then, you didn’t rush for the bathroom.” Jim was behind her.
