“This place is owned by a Brit chef so I thought he may cook lunch to your liking,” Jim replied as she looked around at the busy restaurant full of diners.
“I am surprised they had a table available.” Tasha continued to eat enthusiastically with a series of moans and groans as she devoured the succulent roast beef that literally melted in her mouth.
“They actually hadn’t, so I had to call in a couple of favours, which were my text messages from the airport car park, but you wanted roast beef and the last thing I want to do is to stop you eating, again,” he added the last word and suddenly she knew the overdue conversation about her crazy starvation diet was about to take place.
“Ah,” was all that she said as she put another mouthful of roast beef, Yorkshire pudding and mashed potato into her mouth.
“What happened that day, with Alan?” Jim saved all of his contempt for Alan’s name.
Tasha chewed the food in her mouth slowly, hoping she could buy some time and come up with a reasonable explanation, but she was fairly sure there wasn’t one. She sipped her glass of water and then considered her answer.
“Honestly? I don’t know. I was quite happy with how the meeting went and although I didn’t need Alan to escort me to the lift, he insisted and was friendly. He seemed genuine enough, although I was unsure whether his kindness was more to do with who you were rather than who I was, but like I say he seemed genuine so when he started talking about my future in Hollywood I assumed that was genuine too. He said that my look was good, but—” she paused and sipped some more water.
“Eat some more,” Jim told her firmly before preparing for her to continue her recollection of the day with Alan.
She continued eating until she’d finished her lunch that was almost perfect. Not quite as good as Grandma made, but pretty close. “So, back to Alan. He pointed out that I wasn’t the usual Hollywood starlet type and I knew I didn’t fit the size zero stereotype. I’ve always had hips, a bum and boobs, but it had never hindered me, I don’t think, professionally and certainly not personally,” she told him, the final part of that statement earned her a brief frown.
“Yet he still got into your head and you didn’t see fit to even mention it, to anyone.” He sighed, sounding like a disapproving parent.
“I know and I don’t know if I can explain it, but I’ll try.”
“Go on,” he encouraged, pausing briefly when the waiter returned with the offer of the dessert menu that they both declined, settling for coffee.
“I thought he would know better than me what would work out here and when he said about the ten pounds for the camera I knew he was right because when I first worked on TV I was shocked at how chunky I appeared. I did lose about half a stone, but mainly because I was so busy and that gave a more realistic reflection of my true shape on screen. It all seemed so plausible, but then he suggested I was about ten pounds overweight so that was twenty to lose before I started and I could see that ten pounds lighter would probably put me at an ideal weight technically.”
“Did he suggest you should starve yourself?” Jim looked angry again, but she was no longer sure who with.
“No. He didn’t. That was all my own idea,” she admitted and blanched at the cold expression he wore now.
Okay, so he was angry at her.
“So, you could see that ten pounds might be advisable for the camera and yourself.” With a wave of his hand he signalled for her to continue.
“He then said it was closer to thirty pounds that I should lose if I wanted to sustain a future over here and that was it.”
“Did you believe that thirty pounds was a necessary weight loss for you on any level?” Jim’s expression had turned flat but his tone remained serious.
“No, not really, but I did think he had a point and that some weight loss wouldn’t go amiss, but I had no plans to do anything about it. I thought regular gym work that I’d allowed to lapse could do that.”
“And yet you did do something about it, Natasha,” stated Jim as the waiter returned and cleared their coffee cups away after Jim asked for the bill.
“I thought I might talk it through with you, but you’d already gone to New York.” The whole situation made her feel foolish and immature again.
“So it was my fault?” He seemed even more annoyed by what he perceived to be her accusation.
“No, of course not, but by the time I got to London I was giving it serious thought and then Grandpa said something about me always having had a healthy appetite which I took to mean I’d always been a bit greedy. That was it really. It was stuck in my head and every time I even considered putting food in my mouth I kept thinking about what Alan and Gramps had said. You—sorry—” She stopped suddenly and attempted to stand to leave after the waiter returned with Jim’s receipt.
“Sit back down, finish what you were going to say.”
“Let’s go and we can talk after.” Tasha felt uncomfortable to be under Jim’s scrutiny again.
“Or we could finish talking now then I want to go and see Bobby on the way back home.”
Tasha sighed but knew she was expected to finish explaining herself so continued. “One time when you called me I’d just put a mouthful of popcorn into my mouth and hurriedly spat it back out again and as the days went on it became easier not to eat, but I never planned it in a calculating way. When we all went out for dinner Lizzie was watching my every move and Jake and Lucy noticed immediately that my choice from the menu was a bit off, then I think Pippa became a little concerned.”
“I see.”
“Jake gave me the spiel onguys don’t like skinny girlsand Lucy and I talked and she was all for calling you and holding you responsible as Alan worked at your studio.” Tasha attempted to break the darker atmosphere with a smile, however, Jim shook his head at her.
