Maddie laughed. “You’re really not his usual type.”
“I’m not sure what you expect me to say to that,” said Tasha uncomfortably.
“Or maybe you are and that’s why we’re the ex-wives. I assume you know who I am now that Abby has introduced us,” she said overconfidently.
“Yes, although Philip mentioned you once, and Lizzie,” replied Tasha honestly.
“And Jim?” Maddie asked with far too much interest for Tasha’s liking.
She shook her head and explained, “Not really. He told me his third wife was a failed actress who turned to porn and Philip explained that you were less than maternal towards him and Lizzie, but that’s about it.”
Abby laughed and was joined by Sara, but as Tasha saw Amanda’s face she looked embarrassed and a little scared.
“No wonder you have pissed Mickie off.” Maddie laughed before waving to someone who had just entered the restaurant. She turned back to Tasha and excused herself, “Good luck, future Mrs Maybury.”
They all watched her saunter away and then returned their attention to each other. The other three stared at Tasha slightly bemused as her phone message alert sounded again.
“I really need to go to the bathroom.”
“And reply to your messages if that’s Mr Maybury,” Amanda told her half-joking.
She took herself into a cubicle of the toilets and stood against the wall, unsure whether the full, heavy feeling in her stomach was nausea or the stupid duo balls she was carrying around inside her. As she closed her eyes and gathered her thoughts she also felt the familiar, dull, heavy ache much lower in her body and decided that was definitely because of the balls and nothing else.
She prepared to sit on the toilet, then stopped. Could she even pee with them in? How did she manage to find herself in these situations? Not one, not two, but three ex-wives in one night, a vagina full of balls, text messages queueing and now a full bladder.
She pulled her phone out and saw that she had three messages, all from Jim.
She skimmed down to the next message.
She had been discreet, but knew there was no way she could keep Maddie’s appearance from him; firstly, because of Abby telling Bobby, but also because Amanda looked mortified already. Tasha knew after she’d endured a sleepless night, Jim would take one look at Amanda’s face in the morning and know something had happened. So ‘Mr Smart Arse, Know-it-All’ was right and she would tell him herself, but how and when? They were the only questions.
She looked at his final message and grinned at the prickliness of it. He really could be a miserable sod, but she even loved that about him. He was her miserable sod.
She grinned again as she composed her reply.
She jumped when she heard her name being called, “Tasha, are you okay?” Amanda sounded concerned.
“Yeah, fine. I’m coming out now, sorry,” Tasha flushed the toilet she hadn’t used and vacated the cubicle.
