“But that was before all of the stuff with your dad. I thought you’d have cancelled, you still could.”
“I could, but I won’t, it’s all arranged,” she said, defiant in spite of his gruff tone.
“I would rather you cancelled, Natasha, you are still hurt.” His irritation increased further at her insistence to keep her plans with Jake.
“Jim, please. You are making a big deal out of nothing. If I hadn’t already made plans I would have loved to have pursued a date with you and my present, but I have made plans and you knew about them. I assume you think I’m too bruised for dinner but not too bruised for cybersex with you and a vibrator.” She snapped in exasperation, the earlier threatened sigh slipping from her pursed lips.
“You think I am pissed about this because you are choosing Jake over sex? You think I am that shallow?” He shouted now, angry and offended by her suggestion, accusation.
“No! I didn’t mean it like that, really I didn’t. Look, I don’t like to let people down and cancel at the last minute and Jake is a nice guy, a friend, but no more.”
“So, if you came on to him he would turn you down?” he asked quieter, but still angry.
“I don’t know. Maybe, but that’s not the point. I wouldn’t come on to Jake, or anybody else. I’ve told you, I have never felt about anyone like I do about you. I love you. You have to trust me,” she pleaded.
“I love you too, Tasha, and I trust you not to cheat, but I don’t trust you to do what you say you will because you have let me down on a number of occasions. You agree to what you will and won’t do and then you do the opposite.” He was calming down with each word he spoke, his words hung between them, allowing her to absorb them and as much as she wanted to dispute what he was saying, she couldn’t
She knew he was right. The previous week with the incident at her parent’s home. She had promised not to put herself in danger, not to protect the others at her own expense and yet that is precisely what she had done and if she was completely honest, she knew she’d do exactly the same again.
“Sorry,” she said genuinely. “I know I drive you mad and infuriate you. When I agree to things I mean it and I intend to fulfil my promises, but then things happen and I end up going back on what I’ve agreed.”
“Then don’t make promises, Tasha. Don’t just tell me what you know I want to hear, tell me the truth and if it means we fight about it, then we fight about it and resolve it that way,” he said seriously.
“But you are relentless when we disagree and won’t stop until I come round to your point of view.”
“You know I like things doing my way, to be in control, but if you were totally set on maintaining your view point you wouldn’t change your mind.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Jim. Sometimes it’s just easier to agree with you, to say what you want to hear, but I accept I shouldn’t do that. Apart from anything else, it’s not healthy. I told you before, I will always do whatever is needed to protect Pippa and Dan.”
“I get it, honey, I really do. But I’m glad you can see you shouldn’t just say something for an easy life. You know, I don’t actually think we have had a proper fight yet, but when we do the making up afterwards will be amazing. I may pick a fight just to make up with you.”
“Then I look forward to it.” The presence of the familiar fluttering in her stomach surprised her.
“I hope you haven’t made any plans for next weekend because we will not be leaving the hotel.”
“You could stay here if you want to. Now I’m no longer sharing with Dan and Pippa.”
“Amanda has already booked a hotel. I will send you the details, but I would like to share your bed, baby.” She grinned to herself and then laughed, bemused as he said, “Stop grinning, it makes me horny.”
“How do you know I was grinning?”
“I don’t know, I just do. What time will you be back tonight? We could arrange a date and you could show me your inappropriate clothes.”
“It’s only dinner at Jake’s so not late.”
“You’re going to his house?” Jim sounded irritated and suspicious again.
“Yes. For dinner and while you’re ready to get all infuriated by me again I might as well tell you I’m going to a gallery opening next Thursday where Gerry is exhibiting.”
“And when were you going to spring that on me, as you arrived there?”
“James, it’s not like that. I only agreed to attend this morning and Gerry is hardly going to throw me across an exhibit and shag me in full view of the art world,” she almost growled.
“And now you decide to unleash your smart mouth and the profanities?”
“Yes, I do. You are not the only one who gets infuriated.”
“So it would seem. When is this gallery opening again?” he asked, still cold, but a little calmer.
