Knowing Christiano loves me so much that his feelings won’t change makes things worse for me.
Every time he interacts with me, it makes the heartache grow. I wish I weren’t so messed up and I could be with him, but if he were to learn the truth, he’d lose all respect for me. No capo wants a weak woman who’s nothing but a liability.
Shoving the phone back into my handbag, I sigh.
It kills me that he’s not giving up. He’s the last person I want to cause any pain, and I wish he’d meet an incredible woman who’s strong like his mother.
Aunt Gabriella is one hell of a force. While we were growing up, there were times when I thought she was the one holding all the power and not Uncle Damiano.
The thought of another woman giving Christiano what I can’t makes another crack splinter through my heart.
I wish I could be more like Aunt Gabriella and Mom, and less…this.
Shoving the car door open, I get out and walk toward the coffee place while Alfio follows me at a safe distance. For the most part, he doesn’t get in my way, and there are even times I forget he’s there. When you’re raised in the Cosa Nostra, it’s second-nature to have guards around twenty-four-seven.
As I pass the windows of the coffee shop, I spot Raya, who grins when she sees me.
Only half the tables are taken, and soft music plays in the background. When I sit down across from my best friend, she asks, “What are you having?”
The medication I have to take every day sometimes makes me feel nauseated. Today is one of those times.
“I’ll just have a mint tea.” As I sit down, my phone buzzes again, and I quickly take it out.
Christiano: You’re fucking stubborn. One of these days, I’m going to put you over my knee and spank it out of you.
Jesus.
The image of him carrying out the threat sends a wave of heat coursing through my abdomen.
Shaking my head, I swipe to remove the notification before putting the device away.
He’s one to talk. No one is as stubborn as him.
Raya gestures to get one of the servers' attention, and when they come to our table, she orders my tea and another espresso for herself.
Last week she put red highlights in her hair, and the sun shining in through the window makes them look gorgeous.
As the server leaves, Raya turns her attention back to me. Her gray eyes drift over my face, and a frown line appears, and she asks, “What’s up?”
I shrug, and glancing at the traffic passing by in the street, I reply, “Christiano.”
Unlike Bianca, who can’t understand why I broke things off with him, Raya never pushes me.
“You left the wedding early,” she mentions. “Was it because of him?”
Nodding, I look at her again. “He’s not taking no for an answer.” I force a smile to my face, and changing the subject, I say, “I’m looking forward to moving into my own place next week. I’m picking up the keys later today.”
She gives me a questioning look. “If you’re getting the keys today, why wait until next week?”
“Dad is having a security system installed, and Mom hired a cleaning company. Also, most of the furniture is only being delivered on Monday.”
My friend grins at me, but waits for the server to place our beverages on the table and leave before she asks, “Are you excited?”
“Yes.” My smile turns natural. “I can’t wait to decorate it.” Letting out a chuckle, I admit, “I’ve already started packing. I donated everything I didn’t want to bring along and have most of my clothes in boxes, ready to go.”
“Damn, girl. You don’t waste any time.” Raya takes a sip of her coffee, then says, “I have to be in the office until two. But after work, I’ll come over to help you move.”
Pushing my luck, I ask, “Can’t Georgi give you the day off? I need you there so Mom and I don’t cry the entire day.”
