Now she realized with some surprise that she couldn’t even remember the last time he’d used ASL. Somewhere along the way he had just… stopped.
“Laurie?” Dawn leaned closer, looking concerned. “Will you stay and eat with us?”
“Thanks, but no,” Laurie replied. “Chris is coming down to pick us up.”
“You don’t want to stay the night?” Dawn pressed. “You know that you and Mia can always stay in my room. That bed is stupidly big for just one person. Akemi’s room is free too, if you’d rather squeeze in there.”
“He’s on his way already. He’s driving down now.”
Dawn frowned. “Isn’t it time you had your own car?”
“I do have one. It’s just been in the shop forever.”
“Right.” Her mom’s sky-blue eyes were sharp with worry and suspicion.
“I’m fine. Really. We’re okay.”
Dawn studied her face for a minute. Then she said, “You deserve more than just okay.”
Laurie bit her lip and looked away – but Dawn tapped her shoulder, demanding her attention.
“I’m worried about you,” she said when Laurie looked at her again.
“There’s nothing to worry about!” Laurie’s hands flew with agitation, and her voice was probably getting too loud – but dang it, she was frustrated! She was tired of her family implying that she was helpless, or that her husband was some sort of monster. “He’s not dangerous! He’s not going to hurt us!”
Dawn’s expression still held a degree of worry that suggested disagreement, but she didn’t argue. Laurie’s irritation sank into exhaustion.
“I can manage my own life.”
Her mother was still for a moment. Then she said, “You can always come home, Laurie. You can show up unannounced, or you can call me to pick you up. Anytime, day or night.”
Laurie sighed, tired of rebuffing her mother’s love. The worry could be suffocating sometimes – but as Mia got older, venturing out into the world more and more, Laurie found that she had a better understanding of Dawn’s anxiety.
OK,she signed.Thanks.
Dawn held up one hand with her ring and middle fingers folded down:I love you.
Ditto, Laurie replied.
Her mother turned suddenly, then looked at Laurie with her eyebrows pulled together in concern.
“There’s someone pounding on the front door.”
Laurie sighed before she could catch herself. It was probably Chris.
He always insisted on driving them around – mostly so they didn’t have to depend on anyone else for a ride home – and then got angry about the long hours he’d spent in the car.
Anne had driven all the way up at dawn to collect them for a day of swimming in Hilo, and she had offered to drive them back the next day – but being away from his family overnight made Chris sick with worry, and Laurie didn’t have the patience to endure the days of ill humor that would follow if she insisted.
Marriage was all about compromise, right? Wasn’t that what everyone said? Concessions were made on both sides constantly, in order to keep the peace.
She didn’t remember her mom and dad bickering like that. Dawn and Kimo were best friends. Laurie couldn’t remember a single fight.
But who knew what their marriage had been like behind closed doors? Mia was more or less oblivious to the tensions in her parents’ marriage. They both shielded her from all of that; probably Laurie’s parents had done the same.
If her dad were still alive, she would ask him. But she knew that asking her grieving mother about any troubles in her marriage would be pointless; she would never speak ill of Kimo now.
Not that there was much to say against him, as far as Laurie knew.
