Anne’s dad had always been the one to comfort her. He was her biggest supporter and greatest admirer, her soft space to land. Dawn’s grief was so all-consuming that it left no room for her own, and Anne was beginning to resent that.
Dawn’s presence in her life had never been reliable. She was alwaysthere, of course. But Anne never knew what sort of mood she would find her mother in.
At her best, Dawn had been a wonderful mother: playful, engaged, affectionate. But often she was overwhelmed and withdrawn – or, more often than that, distracted by other children whose needs she believed to be greater than Anne’s. And she had been right, Anne supposed – but it’s hard for a child to cope with their own mother ignoring them to dry a stranger’s tears.
Kimo’s mother had been the steady maternal force in Anne’s early life. Tutu was the original foster parent of the household, both through the official state system and in more traditional ways, taking in people who needed a helping hand.
Kimo was one of the first babies that Tutu ever took in. And Oakley was one of the last, transforming Anne’s life forever. When it became possible to adopt Oakley out of the foster system, Tutu declared herself to be too old: she would leave that decision to her children.
And so Dawn and Kimo had adopted their first child, even though they were barely past their teen years themselves. And they had kept taking in children, just as Tutu had, carrying on the tradition long after she passed away. Laurie and Halia and Akemi all become part of the Kalama household, surrounding Anne with sisters.
The house had sheltered dozens of children each year – sometimes for months, sometimes just for a night or two. They had kept going as long as Kimo’s health allowed them to. And then they had stopped – just a break, they said, until he recovered from the heart attack. Only he never did recover, not really. He seemed to rally a bit when Anne visited, but he never regained his full strength.
And then he was gone.
Anne felt sick when she thought of how much time she had missed out on, living on the mainland, trying to shore up her business or save a failing marriage. Even after his health scare,her dad’s presence in the world had felt as steady as the sun. It had been impossible to imagine Pualena without him.
It still felt impossible. Even now, she half expected to turn the corner and see him striding towards her with outstretched arms and a wholehearted smile.
“Hey.” Laurie came to stand beside her.You OK?
I miss Dad,she answered honestly.
Same, Laurie signed. “Me too.”
“Being here with him gone just feels wrong,” Anne said and signed. “The house isn’t the same. Mom’s not the same.”
“Mom’s making a cake,” Laurie said, trying to lighten the mood. “That’s good, isn’t it?”
Anne nodded, but she couldn’t muster up any genuine enthusiasm for their mom’s incremental improvements just then. She tried to shake off her grief and focus on her sister.
“It’s good to have you here,” she said, touching Laurie’s shoulder.
“It’s good to be home. It was kind of Halia to come get us.”
“You must feel pretty isolated up there in Hawi.”
“It’s a long drive. Chris needs the van for work.”
“What happened to your car? Can’t you guys buy another one?”
Laurie didn’t answer. She turned to look out at the ocean with a distant expression. Anne tapped her shoulder to get her attention back.
“I’ll come pick you up soon. My car will be here next week.”
Laurie smiled, but her eyes were still sad.
“Have you had breakfast yet?”
“No, not yet. I was waiting for Mia to wake up.”
“I’ll make you something.”
Laurie went to check on her daughter, and Anne set about making breakfast. She pulled out the old electric griddle and started some bacon, careful to give Dawn and her cake batter awide berth. She was just getting out the waffle iron when Noah walked right in through the front door.
The man was so beautiful that it hurt to look at him.
He had always been handsome – to the point that his disastrously good looks had just about derailed Anne’s entire life – and he had only gotten better looking with age. His shoulders were broader, the muscles in his arms more developed. His hair was as thick and dark as ever, and there was a persistent shadow of stubble on his strong jaw.
