"I know that. Logically, I know it was a bomb. Random. Nothing I could have done." I shook my head. "But I was their sergeant. I was supposed to protect them. And I couldn't."
"You saved me."
"That's not the same."
"It's not." His thumb traced my cheekbone. "But it matters. You matter."
"I don't know how to believe that."
"Then let me believe it for both of us." He leaned closer, pressed his forehead to mine. "Until you can."
The tears came before I could stop them.
I hadn't cried in years. Hadn't allowed myself. Crying was weakness, vulnerability, everything I'd trained myself to bury. But with Tobias's hands on my face and his eyes holding mine, the walls just collapsed.
"Hey." His thumbs wiped my cheeks. "Hey. I've got you."
"I don't do this." The words came out ragged. "I don't fall apart. I don't let people see—"
"Shhh." He kissed my forehead. "You don't have to be strong right now. Not with me."
"I don't know how to be anything else."
"Then let me show you."
He kissed me, soft at first, barely a brush of lips, then deeper, his tongue sliding against mine, his hands fisting in my hair. He kissed me like he was trying to reach something inside me that words couldn't touch.
I let him.
That was the thing. I let him; I stopped fighting, stopped holding back, stopped trying to be in charge.
He pushed me back against the couch cushions, straddled my hips, his weight settling over me. I could feel him already half-hard through his jeans. When he ground down, the friction made us both groan.
"Let me take care of you," he said against my mouth. "Please. Let me do this."
I couldn't speak; I just nodded.
He undressed me like I was something precious.
He unbuttoned my shirt slowly, pushing it off my shoulders, letting his fingers trail over every inch of skin he uncovered. When he found the shrapnel scar below my ribs, he bent down and traced it with his tongue—a long, slow lick that made my hips jerk.
"You're still here," he murmured against my skin. "You survived."
He moved to the scar on my shoulder, kissing it softly, sucking gently until I shuddered. Then he traveled lower, down my chest, pausing to circle one nipple with his tongue.
"Fuck." I arched into him. "Tobias—"
"Shh. Let me."
He continued down my stomach, pressing wet kisses to every ridge of muscle. My abs tensed under his mouth. When he reached my belt, he looked up at me—eyes dark, lips swollen—and waited.
"Yes," I breathed. "God, yes."
He undid my belt, pulled down my zipper, and hooked his fingers in my waistband, dragging my pants and boxers down in one motion.
My cock sprang free, already hard and leaking. He wrapped his hand around the base and looked at me for a moment, hisexpression filled with hunger and reverence, making my chest ache.
"I've wanted this for so long," he said. "Wanted you."
