I held him tighter than usual. Memorized the feel of him against me. The weight of his body, the rhythm of his breathing.
"I can hear you worrying from here," he murmured.
"Sorry."
"Don't be sorry. Just tell me."
I stared at the ceiling. The crack that ran from the corner to the light fixture. I'd been meaning to fix that.
"I'm scared of losing you."
The words came out rough. Exposed.
Tobias propped himself up on one elbow, looking down at me. His hair was mussed, his lips swollen. He'd never looked better.
"You're not going to lose me," he said.
"You don't know that. You're about to walk back into your old world. Your family. Their money. Their expectations. That's a lot to compete with."
"It's not a competition." His hand found my face, cupping my jaw. "I'm not choosing between you and them. I'm choosing who I want to be. And that person wants to be with you."
"What if they give you an ultimatum?"
"Then they'll lose." His voice was fierce. Certain. "I spent twenty-six years doing what they wanted, being who they needed. That's over. I'm not going back to that life, no matter what they say."
"Even if it means losing your family?"
He was quiet for a moment.
"If they can't accept me for who I am, then I already lost them years ago. I just didn't know it yet." His thumb traced my cheekbone. "But I don't think that's going to happen. Tristan wouldn't have set this up if he thought they'd reject me completely. He knows them better than I do. And he says they're scared, not angry."
"Scared of what?"
"Of losing me. Of what I might have done to myself out there alone. Of never getting the chance to make things right." His eyes held mine. "They love me. Even if they don't know how to show it. Even if they've been loving me wrong for years. That doesn't just disappear."
I pulled him down, pressed my forehead to his.
"Come back to me," I said. "Whatever happens tomorrow. Come back."
"I will." He kissed me softly. "I promise."
That night, I held him while he slept.
I watched the moonlight move across his face. Counted his breaths. Told myself this was real, this was mine, this couldn't be taken away by a conversation in a Manhattan apartment.
Tomorrow, he'd face his parents. Tell them the truth. Open himself up to rejection, acceptance, or something in between.
And I'd be here. Waiting. Hoping.
Scared as hell.
But I'd learned something in the past few weeks. Something Tobias had taught me without meaning to. Sometimes the scary thing is the right thing. Sometimes you have to let people matter, even when every instinct screams to protect yourself.
I thought about Ronan. The way he'd looked at me when I told him the truth. The way he'd said"I trust you"like it was simple. The weight that lifted when I realized I wasn't alone in this anymore.
I pressed a kiss to Tobias's hair and closed my eyes.
Tomorrow would come soon enough.
