Pete noticed Brad, standing behind Bella, his brow furrowed. ‘Who’s this?’
‘Brad. Good to meet ya.’ Brad stepped forward, hand outstretched. Pete shook it.
It was, thought Bella, one of the more surreal moments of her life. ‘Pete,’ she said again. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Isn’t it obvious?’ He looked at her, his eyes pleading. ‘Bella, I thought I’d had enough of us. But after being in England, then coming back over here to sign the contract, seeing everything with new eyes… I was an idiot.’
‘I’m just going to check out your garden,’ Brad interjected. ‘Give you a bit of space.’
Neither of them replied. He walked off, hands in pockets, whistling nonchalantly as if this were a completely normal situation.
‘Pete,’ Bella said, putting a hand on her forehead as if checking her own temperature. ‘I— You realise that this is insane, don’t you?’
The hand with the flower dropped to his side. ‘Why? Lots of people get back together after a separation. Lots of people struggle in a marriage.’
‘I know. And maybe a few weeks ago I’d have felt differently. But I’ve realised a lot of things… about us, about myself. I know it sounds weird, but I’ve changed.’
‘You mean you’re with the American guy,’ he said pointedly.
‘No! Actually, I’m not! I’m not with anyone.’ She opted not to mention the French bloke she’d had a fling with.
‘So why not try?’ he wheedled.
‘Pete! You literally abandoned me out of the blue. You left me in a terrible situation, with no notice. And disappeared!’
‘Yeah, but I said sorry.’
‘Sorry isn’t a magic word, Pete! It doesn’t undo damage that you’ve done.’
‘Look,’ he said, more softly, reaching out a hand. ‘I know that you’ve got abandonment issues, after your mum then your dad, but…’
‘Seriously? You’re blaming this on me? Because even if I didn’t have abandonment issues, I’d still have objected to literally being abandoned, Pete.’
‘OK. OK. I’m sorry.’ His shoulders slumped. ‘Look, I can make it up to you. I want to. We were good together. Eight years of marriage, Bella. You surely don’t want to throw all that away.’
He looked crestfallen and somewhere under the shock and anger, she felt a pang of sympathy. ‘Look, Pete,’ she said, ‘I know when you told me about wanting to split up, I was upset. But the more distance I got from it all, the more I realised that you were right. We were kids when we got together. We tried to do something— well, amazing. And we did it! We really made it work. But things between us hadn’t been good for a while.’
‘Yes, but a lot of that was the stress of running the business and?—’
‘Running the business?’ She felt a familiar prickle on her skin. How did he manage to do this every time. ‘Iwas running the business. You were… you were justthere,Pete. Yes, you did some great work in the garden, and you were chatty at breakfast with the guests. I’m not saying you did nothing, but it wasn’t the business that broke us. It was the fact you left me to struggle. We weren’t a team. You didn’tlisten!’
‘You just got so stressed and?—’
‘Why do you think that was?’ she almost screeched. She was reminded now of some of the arguments they’d have time and time again. They would start with an accusation from her, a request for help or support, a plea for him to take over some of the mental load that came with running a B&B. And would end with them hurling insults at each other.
Later, they’d make up and life would resume. A couple of weeks on, she’d realise that nothing had changed and they’d fall back into arguing again.
Over in the garden, Brad glanced towards them, and she felt ashamed that he’d heard her.
‘Look,’ she said, more quietly, stepping properly into the entrance hall. A set of steps led from there to the upstairs rooms and she sat on one, patting the space next to her. Pete obediently dropped into it. He was close and the scent of him – fresh with the slight spice of his aftershave – filled her with nostalgia. It would be easy to fall for this, to step away from the complications she’d created for herself in Versailles and resume her life here. But she wasn’t the same Bella who had left this place three months ago. ‘Look, Pete. I get it. This wasn’t your dream, it was mine.’
‘It was my?—’
‘Just listen for a sec.’ She put her hand on his arm and he stopped, his eyes looking at her hand where it lay on his skin. ‘You bought into my dream. And I’m grateful. But I suppose I understand more, with a bit of distance, time, that the reason you never felt fullyinit with me was because you weren’t. Not really. You wanted to learn to build, and you certainly got some experience here. But when we were done with the renovations, there wasn’t the same buzz for you any more.’
‘Yes, but that’s not a reason to run away,’ he said. ‘I should have looked for different work… maybe set up my own business. I still could. I blamed the marriage for my unhappiness.’ He looked down at his hands, now knitted together. ‘But it was me. I was just unhappy; stuck.’
‘I wish I’d known.’
