‘No. No. But you project confidence. You’re so sure of yourself. And I suppose I took it too far. But I mean, half the applications I’d written just got ignored anyway. I wasn’t to know… and then when they got in touch… I needed a job.’
There was another silence. She could hear Juliette’s fingernails tapping against a hard surface, something she did when thinking. ‘OK,’ Juliette said. ‘Well, what is done is done. But you need to come clean, Bella. With work, but also with Henri. It is not fair on him that he thinks he is dating someone who is not what they seem.’
‘I can’t.’
‘But you must,’ Juliette said softly. ‘People are kind. They will understand.’
‘But they won’t want me any more,’ she found herself saying. A waiter came over, raised an inquisitive eyebrow, so she pointed to coffee on the menu. He nodded and disappeared. People streamed past, all wrapped up in their own worlds; chatting, checking phones, wandering with cameras. Around her at the other tables, people sat in pairs and trios. She was the only person who was completely alone.
‘They might be angry, yes, but…’
‘It’s not that. Juliette, there’s a reason I lied in the first place. I’ve wasted eight years running a B&B and it’s all for nothing. I have no experience in anything else, no credentials. I just— I ruined my life. Lying was my only hope.’
‘You—’
‘And what about Henri? He won’t want some old, unemployed divorcee. He’s with me because he doesn’t know who I am. Not really.’
‘Bella!’ Juliette sounded shocked. ‘How can you talk about yourself like this?’
‘It’s true.’
‘Non. It is an interpretation. One that even an enemy might not come up with. You are beautiful. You are young. You have a history, sure. But who doesn’t? I cannot say whether Henri will want you or not, or that work will be OK or not. But you, you will be OK. You will find work, and you will find people who love you for you.’
Bella shook her head. The waiter appeared and set her coffee on the table. She gave him a small, watery smile before breaking eye contact. ‘No, Juliette. I’ll bealone. Henri will leave me, I’m sure. Claudine will fire me. Odette won’t want to know me either after she finds out I’ve lied. I’ll probably be thrown out of the house share for lying too. I’ll have nothing. And I’ll be alone. I just— it’s too much.’
‘You will have me.’
Bella paused, wiped her eyes, picked up a small, white-wrapped packet of sugar and began to tear off the corner. ‘Thank you. But I can’t— You’re wonderful but it’s not enough. I need people here, now. I need this job.’
‘OK. OK. So breathe.’ Juliette’s voice sounded concerned. ‘It’s OK. Just concentrate on that for a moment.’
‘OK,’ Bella said a moment later. ‘I’m OK.’
‘So. Let me ask you. Can you do this job?’
‘Yes. I really can. I think.’
‘And you say that there is this big presentation, a meeting?’
‘Yes – for potential Hotel Club status.’
‘So perhaps it is not fair to leave before this anyway,’ Juliette said gently. ‘If you feel you cannot say, perhaps just do your best work, and then tell them once they secure the status. If you have been instrumental, perhaps they will see beyond the… the misunderstanding.’
‘You think?’
‘It is possible. But Bella, you must still tell Henri.’
‘OK,’ she breathed. ‘I’ll try.’ But as soon as she hung up, any resolve she had dissipated. Henri was one of the few bright things in her life right now. Being held by him, kissed by him. Having someone at home waiting for her when she got in. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to give that up.
She sipped her coffee, feeling the warm liquid flood her mouth. Everything in her life was balanced on a lie, but she wasn’t ready to let it tumble just yet.
25
2013, ENGLAND
Kitty’s house was, as always, immaculate. From the polished wood floors and the cream sofa to the antique and carefully sourced furniture. Whenever Bella mentioned anything about it, Kitty was careful to remind her that house prices had been cheaper in the early noughties when she’d first bought, and that she and Stu had combined their equity when they’d married – clearly keen to make Bella feel better.
But for the first time, Bella didn’t feel envious. Because she was now set to be a homeowner too. And not one in boring Hertfordshire but in France, somewhere brand new and timeless all at once.
