‘So why you are in Paris? What made you change your occupation?’ Claudine waved her hand as if encouraging Bella to speak.
‘I’m actually living in Versailles. But I wanted to work in Paris. Who wouldn’t?’
‘So why not an apartment here in the city?’
‘It’s only half an hour on the train,’ she shrugged, not mentioning the cheap student accommodation she’d had to sign up for. ‘I lived in the countryside before. But I wanted a change, I suppose,’ she said, then sensing this wouldn’t be enough to satisfy Claudine, she added, ‘my husband and I also broke up, so…’
‘Ah, divorce,’ Claudine said, almost with satisfaction. ‘Yes, it is a rite of passage for successful women, I find. I have had two,’ she held her fingers up in a kind of victory sign. ‘Some men, they are threatened by women like us.’
Bella thought about Pete, of their life together in rural France. Of her permanent outfit of jeans and a hoody. Of the fact they’d eat dinner off their knees in front of the TV. She doubted very much that any of her meagre successes had made him feel threatened, or had had much to do with their split. But she nodded, not knowing what else to say.
‘And are you heartbroken?’ Claudine asked, in a matter-of-fact tone.
‘Oh! Well, of course Iwas. It was a shock. Now?’ She thought of Pete, their dream, the house, and felt a rush of repressed emotion. ‘Maybe a little. But more for the life we could have had than because I still want to be with him.’
Claudine nodded sagely.
The cocktails arrived and Bella sipped from hers gratefully. It was strong – the liquid, bitter in her mouth. But it definitely had a kick. Her stomach churned, reminding her that she’d barely eaten that day.
‘And your home in Versailles… You are enjoying life there?’
‘Oh yes,’ she said, grateful for the chance to be honest.
Claudine nodded. ‘It is a nice location. Very expensive of course, like Paris. But then if we cannot have some perks from our success, what is the point?’ She took a sip of her own drink – long and cool-looking, blue in colour. ‘You have bought an apartment? A house?’
‘Oh, I—’ Bella wanted to say that she was renting a room, but stopped herself. Would this fit with the executive lifestyle Claudine seemed to have imagined for her? ‘A house,’ she said, which was, after all, not a lie.
Claudine nodded as if this were what she had expected all along. ‘It must be wonderful to have your own space again. I remember when I moved to my first apartment after Gustave – my first husband – and I split. I used to walk naked around my rooms, just feeling free. Having something that is just for you – it is important.’
‘Oh!’
Claudine looked amused. ‘You should try it. It is very liberating.’
Bella couldn’t imagine walking around the rather tatty interior of the shared rental naked, but nodded as if logging the idea for future use.
‘Tell me,’ Claudine said then, taking another sip of her drink and regarding Bella. ‘What is it that brings you to France? I am always intrigued. Of course I love my country,’ she put her hand on her chest, ‘but England has a lot to commend it too. London is a beautiful city; and for those of us who work in business, there are many opportunities.’
‘I’ve always loved France. I came on a trip here with school years ago and…’ She searched for the right words. ‘The lifestyle is different, the people, the culture – it’s a beautiful place.’ It struck her yet again that for the first time in a while, every word that she’d uttered was true. She’d forgotten the initial pull to France that had guided her thinking in the first place.
‘And you don’t miss your own culture? Your family, perhaps?’
Bella winced slightly. ‘I don’t really have parents,’ she admitted.
‘No siblings?’
Bella laughed, took another sip and continued, emboldened. ‘If you met my sister, you’d understand why I’d rather be here!’
Claudine seemed to like this comment. Her eyebrow – once again – arched with interest. ‘Your sister is not a nice person?’
‘Oh. No. I mean, yes. She’s a lovely person.’ Bella felt her skin prickling as she tried to put her words in order. ‘She’s lovely. It was a joke, really. Kitty, she’s older than me and she’s one of these people who— well, people are always comparing us and… I just wanted to get away from that. To be myself. Without the expectations, the comparisons.’
Claudine was nodding again. ‘I understand. Your sister is jealous of your success. It is difficult for those who do not fly as we do to truly support us.’
‘It’s more the other way around,’ Bella said before she could stop herself.
‘You are jealous of her?’
‘Not jealous.’ She shook her head. ‘I don’t want— We have different lives. Want different things. I just always felt as if she was getting everything right and I was getting everything wrong.’
