“Hello, doll,” she said, planting a quick kiss on my cheek and speaking in that half-pitying, half-concerned tone she used. I loved her for it, and it drove me crazy. “How you doing?”
I shrugged, avoiding the question and hoping she wouldn’t comment on my muddy jeans or the pieces of hay inevitably caught in my hair.
“It’s a chicken and rice casserole,” Aunt DeeDee said, patting me on the shoulder. “I know you might be counting calories with the pageant coming up, so I brought margarine instead of butter for the rolls and I used skinless chicken breasts.”
We both knew that I’d never counted a calorie a day in my life, but sure. Maybe it was her assumption that I would compete or maybe it was a twinge of rebellion that I’d never acted on, but I felt my back stiffen, pulling me to my full five-foot-seven height.
“I need to talk to you about something, Aunt DeeDee,” I said, as I watched her find her key to the front door.
“Yes, darling. What is it?”
“I know you mean well, and I’m sure Momma wasn’t thinking straight, but I just… I can’t believe the two of you would come up with a plan to…” My cheeks grew hot and I took a breath, trying to steady myself. “It’s just… I can’t believe that y’all would sign me up for the pageant without telling me.”
“Now, Dakota. It’s not that?—”
“No, it’s too late.” I cut her off as I walked through the front door and living room before setting the casserole on the kitchen counter. “The pageant starts in two days, and even if I wanted to compete, I’m not any kind of show-ready. I haven’t had a haircut in a year, and there’s literally dirt under my fingernails. Besides, that is not my crowd, and I don’t have time to learn how to charm and flatter my way into the top tier of superficial contestants. Y’all waited too late to tell me, so that’s that.”
“Excuse me, princess.” Aunt DeeDee followed me inside, putting a hand on her hip. “But you need to stop acting like you’re too good for this pageant right this minute.”
I hadn’t heard that tone since I was sixteen and tried to convince her to sign off on me skipping school to drive out to the rodeo by myself for the day.
“You know that you and I don’t have any other chance of making the kind of money that this pageant throws at the winners each year,” Aunt DeeDee continued. She was right. Working twenty hours a week for $12.50 an hour as a stable hand wasn’t cutting it. “If I could steal it for you, I would, but I’venever been great at thieving, so that option’s out unless you have some breaking and entering skills I don’t know about.”
I wasn’t amused.
Aunt DeeDee gave me a long look as if to say she was disappointed in me. “You used to be up for any adventure, ready to conquer any fear.” She sounded like Lacy as she put her hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes, searching for my can-do spirit. She’d have to search long and hard. We both knew that when I’d failed at the most important task of my life, it had knocked the wind out of me. I hadn’t quite gotten my breath back since then.
I thought of the stories of how my great-grandfather had worked in the Virginia coal mines, trying to earn enough to make a decent life in this home for his wife and children. He died well before I was born, but in the few photos I’d seen of him, black streaks always coated his hands. The Greens had never lived in high cotton, but we’d always been proud of what we had. Except… now, I might lose the home he’d built, the backdrop of my first-day-of-school pictures and the place where Momma had taken her last breath. Granted, I stood by my decision to max out several credit cards and take out two mortgages to pay for Momma’s experimental treatment, but I hadn’t considered how I’d live after treatment failed and she was gone. That alternative had never been an option.
“Your momma knew this was the best bet to get your hands on money so you won’t lose the house. If you haven’t noticed, there’s not much in the way of business opportunities around these parts. So, doll baby, this is your chance.” Aunt DeeDee attempted an encouraging grin. “But don’t you worry: I’ll get you fixed right up.”
Fixed right up… as if I was broken.
I watched her while she pulled plates out of the cupboard as if the issue was settled. Feeling a pout inch its way intomy bottom lip, I stepped onto the back porch lined with bird’s foot violets and Virginia bluebells. In the corner was where I’d constructed a fairy garden when I was eight, and there was the pecan tree that I would climb every day after school withBlack Beauty. I’d dog-eared the corners of my copy, reading it in the rain and sunshine so that almost every page was somehow stained.Well loved, Momma had called it when I’d refused Aunt DeeDee’s offer to buy me a new one.
“It’s not even safe,” I said, grasping for another excuse as I walked back inside.
Aunt DeeDee held a spatula in mid-air and scrunched her nose. “Safe? What in tarnation are you talking about?”
“The missing pageant queen?” I reminded her.
“Hogwash.” She waved the spatula. “That’s all stuff and nonsense.”
I took a few heavy steps into the center of the kitchen, painted in soft yellows and greens, and I distracted myself by pouring food into Bucket’s bowl before slouching into a chair.
“It’s not nonsense for that Miss 2001,” I muttered.
“She’s fine.” Aunt DeeDee tasted the tiniest piece of chicken and added salt to the entire dish. “Just couldn’t take the spotlight.”
“And you know that because…?”
“Because I was at that very pageant, and no one ever found any evidence to the contrary,” Aunt DeeDee said. “Let’s not talk about the missing queen at the actual pageant, okay?”
I didn’t make any promises, but she didn’t really seem to be asking a question.
Aunt DeeDee sighed when she noticed my crossed arms. “Trust me, Dakota. I would never send you into something dangerous. You know that, don’t you?”
I knew that Aunt DeeDee loved me like her daughter, would protect me with the same fierceness that Momma had possessed—and perhaps a little sparkle—but I didn’t feel like admitting it.
