I hung up, fingers gripping the steering wheel tight, restraining the emotions rampaging inside.
I should go back immediately. My duty was there, my warriors, the pack members I needed to protect. Two people dead. Five criticallywounded. Mysterious forces suddenly strengthened, and vampire traces appearing.
This was a major breakthrough, a crisis.
I should rush back to Silver Moon Pack right now, deploy defenses, investigate the truth...
But I couldn't. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about her. Continuous sorrow wrapped around me like endless rain, relentless, cold moisture seeping into my bones. My brain couldn't process any thoughts, only—
Why, why didn't she love me anymore?
Before, no matter what happened, I could suppress personal emotions. Pack first, duty first, the Alpha's mission above all else. Like seven years ago, I chose to reject Layla because Father said it was responsible to the pack. Like these seven years, countless times I stood at the cliff wanting to find her, but ultimately turned back to the pack because they "needed" me.
But this time... this time even with the pack suffering such a severe attack, even with the shocking vampire lead appearing, even knowing I must fulfill my responsibility right now.
Layla's face kept surfacing in my mind.
"I'm done."
"I don't know what I'm supposed to expect anymore."
"Please disappear from my world."
Why did these words circle my mind like a curse? Why could I no longer suppress the inner pain? Why did I want to vent but felt utterly exhausted?
I floored the accelerator, using the adrenaline rush to force my brain empty, but the answer suddenly became painfully clear.
Because you love her.
True, soul-deep love.
Not the bond. Not instinct.
Love.
So what is love? At breakneck speed, my heart raced, like simulating the impulse of love at first sight. I thought I understood.
Love is pain.
Seeing her hurt makes your heart clench. Hearing her say "disappear" tears your soul apart. Knowing I should return to the pack, but my emotions are beyond control. Despair wraps around me layer by layer. I'm like a fish stranded on sand—breathing failing, burning under the scorching sun... yet still wanting to see her one more time.
This isn't the bond, or instinct, or anything I can suppress with reason or weigh rationally.
This is love. I love her.
It transcends everything. It makes me question whether Alpha duty truly should come before all else. It terrifies me. My soul trembles deep inside.
From now on, my reason and emotions can't be separated.
My phone rang again. An unknown number this time. I stared at the screen for several seconds, then answered.
"Hello?" My voice sounded terribly exhausted.
"Hello... is this Mr. Kayden Blackwood?"
A female voice, young, anxious, trembling.
"Speaking."
