I missed her.It was the damn truth.
Missed the way she looked at me like she could see every version of man I had ever been and wasn’t afraid of any of them.Missed the way she didn’t flinch at my rough edges—or try to sand them down.
Missed waking up with her warm and solid beside me, like something in my life finally made sense.
I was at the clubhouse when Tower finally said something.We were in the lobby area of the old bank.The part that had been converted into a common area with a bar.
It was late afternoon, the kind of hour where the light slants low and makes everything look like it’s holding its breath.I sat at the bar with a beer I hadn’t touched, phone face down beside my hand like a loaded weapon.
Tower leaned against the counter across from me, arms crossed, eyes sharp.He had known me long enough not to bullshit.“You gonna drink that or just stare holes through it?”he asked.
I picked up the bottle, took a swallow I didn’t taste, set it back down.
He watched me for a beat.Then, “You look like hell.”
“Appreciate that,” I muttered.“Anyone ever tell you how observant you are?”
He snorted.“Don’t get smart.You’ve been pacing like a caged animal for days.”
I didn’t respond.Didn’t need to.He already knew.
He nodded at my phone.“That her?”Because yes I had a picture of her on my screen.A picture I took of her face pressed against my chest while she slept with a faint smile on her lips.I had never had anyone on my phone screen before.I had never wanted to look at anyone more than once to save their picture.
I exhaled through my nose.“She’s not answering.”
Tower’s mouth twitched.“Sounds like she’s answering just fine.You’re not accepting her response, brother.”
That got my attention.“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means,” he stated calmly, “you got your answer.You just don’t like it.”
I bristled.“You don’t know her.”
“No,” he agreed.“But I know you.And I know that look.You don’t chase things unless they matter.And in all these years, Loco, you’ve never chased a woman.”
I stared into the amber of my beer.“We’re not kids anymore.”
“Exactly,” Tower shot back.“Which is why I don’t get what the hell you’re doing.”
I looked up.“Enlighten me.”
He leaned forward, voice lower.“You had a taste of something you wanted that much is obvious.Something real.And instead of figuring out how to make it work, you’re sitting here waiting for it to come back to you.Brother, knew your ass was crazy.Didn’t know you were fuckin’ psychotic.Because only someone with a mental problem would have someone that beautiful in their bed, obviously crave another taste, and still not have the balls to go after that sweet cunt.”
“That’s not?—”
“Bullshit,” he cut in throwing a hand up to silence me.“You think she shut you down because she doesn’t feel anything?Or because she doesn’t want to be an afterthought in your chaos?”
That one landed square in the ribs.
I didn’t answer.
Tower straightened.“You said it yourself.We’re not young.There’s no extra time laying around to waste pretending you don’t want what you want.”
I scoffed quietly.“Her life’s in DC.Mine isn’t.”
“So?”he questioned me.“Then you find a way.Or you decide she’s not worth the trouble and stop torturing yourself.”
He paused, eyes narrowing.“But don’t lie to yourself.That woman got under your skin.And if you let this go without a real fight, you’re gonna regret it.”
