I resumed compressions, my arms burning, sweat dripping into my eyes.
“Come on,” I whispered.“Please.”
Sirens wailed in the distance.Lamonte’s breathing was labored and wrong behind me, each inhale a struggle.
“I’m gonna be okay,” he kept repeating, like he was trying to convince himself.“You hear me?Marines don’t go out like this.”
I wanted to argue.To turn and help him.To do something other than feel helplessly torn between two people I cared about.
Char’s chest finally shuddered.A weak, broken gasp tore from her throat.
“EMS is almost here,” I told her, though I didn’t know if she could hear me.“You’re not alone.I’ve got you.”
She didn’t open her eyes, didn’t choke out, didn’t really change much except the small, barely noticeable change to breathing again.
Noise came from the doorway.The apartment filled with chaos—boots pounding into the room, voices shouting, hands on my shoulders pulling me back.
Paramedics took over, working on Char and Lamonte simultaneously, the room a blur of gloves and gauze and shouted vitals.
I stood there, hands shaking, covered in blood that wasn’t mine, watching the two people I cared about most get wheeled out on stretchers.I followed them to the hospital in silence, sirens screaming overhead, my heart lodged somewhere in my throat.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t know who to pray for first.Not that any God was willing to hear from a man like me.But one thing my time in the Marines taught me, when you had nothing else left, faith didn’t hurt.Right now, I was desperate.I wasn’t sure how much more I could lose without breaking completely.
Chapter6
Loco
The hospital was too bright for what I’d just seen.Fluorescent lights turned everyone’s skin the same sickly shade, like the building itself drained color out of you the second you walked through the sliding doors.The air smelled like disinfectant and overheated coffee, and every sound carried through the entire space—heels clicking, gurney wheels rattling, the low murmur of voices trying not to be loud.
Lamonte and Char were rushed in different directions the moment EMS hit the loading bay.A trauma team peeled Lamonte off to the left.A swarm of blue and green scrubs, blood already soaking through the gauze at his neck, his eyes fixed on me for one second as they rolled him away.He lifted two fingers—an exhausted version of a salute.His affirmation he was still with me.
Then he disappeared behind swinging doors markedAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.
Char went the other way.The general emergency department.A place filled to the brim at the moment.Not a single station or room open.She was wheeled on her stretcher to a spot in the hallway directly across from the center nurses station.Paramedics had resumed compressions something they didn’t do when taking her out of the apartment.Her status had changed in the ride.Everything was going so fast and yet agonizingly slow as I heard a call for code blue, crash cart needed.Before I could register what was happening, they had the machine and paddles out.
I heard the wordasystoleand then someone yelling “clear,” and I swear my soul left my body.
The shock snapped her back into the world, her body jerking, and I didn’t know whether to scream or fall to my knees.I did neither.
I couldn’t react.The emotions were too much and I was only back there as a cop, not a family member.With Char’s state, they wouldn’t allow anyone to be with her right this second.I couldn’t fuck this up because they would kick me out.I stood there, frozen, watching strangers fight for her pulse like it was just another Tuesday.
A nurse noted my presence and guided me away from the chaos.An officer from another shift, I didn’t even register who—hands on my shoulders, turned me toward a waiting area I didn’t remember existing.I sat down hard on a plastic chair that felt like punishment.My hands were still stained and damp.Not wet with sweat.Wet with blood.
And I couldn’t stop seeing it, the whole thing.Char’s lips blue, Lamonte’s blood pulsing through his fingers, the ex’s face twisted with something feral as he charged.
I stared at my palms until the lines blurred.A nurse approached, clipboard held like a shield.“Sir?Are you the reporting officer?Or family?”
I swallowed.My throat scraped raw, like I’d been screaming for hours, but I couldn’t remember making a sound.“I’m law enforcement.I was on scene.But I’m also Lamonte Davis’ emergency contact.”Something we both did when taking the jobs on Metro Police.Since I didn’t have family left and neither did he, we were each other’s emergency contact.I knew he would respect my wishes and I would have do the same for him.
Her eyes flicked to the blood on my sleeves.She softened a fraction, but only a fraction.“We have strict visitor protocols.The patient in the ED, do you know their name?”
“Charlaina Banks,” I managed, and my voice cracked on her name.
“The patient in trauma?What do you know?”
“My partner,” I said, forcing the words out like I was pushing them through cement.“He’s in surgery.”
“Name?”
