At three a.m.I checked my phone again, like it might magically contain an explanation if I stared hard enough.
Nothing.
By morning, my head was pounding and my thoughts were jagged, looping the same questions over and over.
What scared her?Who said something?What memory got loose in her head?And the worst one—What did I miss?
I went for a run at dawn, punishing my body because it was easier than sitting still.Miles blurred together.Sweat burned my eyes.My chest felt tight in a way that had nothing to do with exertion.
By the time I got back, I knew I couldn’t keep spiraling alone.
So I called Nita.She was supposed to be staying at Lamonte’s last night.She had text him dinner was waiting and so was she for when he got off shift.Things were good for them and I was happy.I felt like a fucking idiot calling my girlfriend’s sister to ask why she dumped me, but Char wasn’t answering my texts or calls because I tried them.
She answered on the third ring.“Dante.”
“I need to ask you something,” I said, skipping pleasantries because I didn’t trust myself to keep my voice steady if I didn’t.
There was a pause.“Okay.”
“She ended things last night.”
Another pause.Longer this time.
“I know,” Nita explained shocking me.
That hit harder than I expected.
“She didn’t tell me why,” I stated.“Not really.I need to understand what changed.”
Nita exhaled slowly like she knew this was coming but she really didn’t have the patience for it.“And I need you to hear something you’re not going to like.”
“I’m listening.”
“If Char asked for space,” she explained, “you need to respect it.”
My jaw tightened.“I’m not chasing her down.I just want to know what happened.”
“I know,” Nita continued.“But wanting answers doesn’t give you a right to them.”
That stung, even though I knew she wasn’t wrong.
“I care about her,” I whispered.“I wasn’t planning on walking away.”
“I know,” she stated again.Softer now.“And for what it’s worth, I’ve come to appreciate the man you are for my sister.You’re steady.You’re safe.You show up.”
That word again.Safe.
“So why does she look like she just burned her life down?”I asked.
“Because she doesn’t trust peace yet,” Nita explained.“Because when things get good, her brain tells her it’s borrowed time.”
I closed my eyes.
“Char has imposter syndrome,” Nita continued.“About everything.Happiness included.She doesn’t believe she’s allowed to have it without paying for it somehow.”
“So she punishes herself,” I added.
“She takes control,” Nita corrected.“Leaving before she can be left.Choosing pain she recognizes over stability she doesn’t.”
