“Hey,” I greeted, dropping my keys.“You okay?”
She nodded.Didn’t smile.That was the second thing I filed away.
“I made tea,” she stated.“Hope that’s okay.”
“Yeah, whatever you want, baby.My house is your house.”I replied slowly.“Thanks for having it ready for me.”
I set my gun and badge on the counter like always.Took off my jacket.Watched her from the corner of my eye.Everything about her was contained.Like she had packed herself into a smaller version of who she had been this morning.
“Char,” I said gently.“What’s going on?”
She inhaled.Exhaled.Looked at the floor.“I can’t do this anymore.”
The words landed wrong.Too practiced.Too flat.“Do what,” I asked completely taken off guard.
“This,” she shared coldly, gesturing between us.“Us.”
I stared at her, waiting for the punchline that didn’t come.“Did I miss something?”I asked.“Because we were fine.We’re good.”
She shook her head.“You’re good.I’m not.”
“That’s not an explanation.”
She flinched.Not at my tone—at the fact that I wasn’t letting it slide.
“I thought I was ready,” she stammered.“I wanted to be.But I’m not.”
My chest tightened.“Ready for what?”
She looked at me then, eyes shiny but resolute.“For this kind of life.For stability.For you.”
That one hurt.
“I haven’t pushed you,” I stated quietly.
“I know.That’s the problem.”
I took a step toward her.She stepped back.That was the moment something cold settled in my gut.“Talk to me,” I begged.“Please.”
She swallowed.“I feel like I’m pretending.Like I’m playing house in someone else’s life.”
“That’s not,” I began and she cut me off.
“I don’t wake up scared anymore,” she said, voice breaking.“And that should be good.But it makes me feel guilty.Like I’m betraying something I haven’t finished paying for.”
I understood trauma.I understood guilt.I didn’t understand why she was doing this alone.
“We can slow down,” I offered.“We don’t have to change anything.”
She shook her head again.“If I stay, I’ll keep leaning on you.And I need to stand on my own.”
“That doesn’t mean you leave.”
“For me, it does.”
I searched her face for hesitation.For doubt.Found none.“You’re walking away,” I stated blankly.I studied her for a beat more.Her eyes were void.“You have thought this through?You mean it?”
“Yes.”
