"You and Nia ain't got shit to speak about, my boy." Jules stepped up instantly, pullin Nia to his side, his arm wrappin around her protective, possessive. His voice was calm, but I knew that calm. That was the calm right before a storm rip shit apart.
Nash chuckled. A low, amused sound. "Me and Nia got a whole lot to speak about," he said. "She gave me life. The fuck is you sayin'?" That did it. Jules moved fast. They were chest to chest in a blink, lips damn near touching, tension thick enough to choke on. Jules' jaw was clenched so tight I could see the muscle twitchin. Nash didn't flinch. Didn't back up. Didn't blink. That's when I knew. This nigga wasn't scared of dyin. He wasdarin it. "Back up," I said low. My voice cut through the noise. Neither of them moved.
The casino floor was still buzzing behind us, machines chiming in uneven rhythms, glasses clinking, laughter spilling out drunk and careless, but right here the air was dead. Like sound itself knew better than to breathe. Juste stepped forward first, shoulders squared, voice low and measured like he was talking to two wild animals instead of grown men. “Look, nigga," he said, eyes cuttin between Jules and Nash, "my family got a whole lotta respect for yours. But this shit y'all got goin' on? It need to be worked out like men, not hoes." His jaw flexed. "I'm tryin' real hard to be patient. But now you startin' to fuck with my money," he continued, tone still calm, which somehow made it worse. "And shit gon' get wicked behind that." Neither Nash nor Jules moved an inch. Jules' hands were balled into fists so tight the veins stood out on his forearms. Nash stood loose like he enjoyed bein' the calmest nigga in the room while everybody else burned. My free hand slid to my hip on instinct. Waiting.
"Nash," their mama said, steppin forward like she was interruptin a child throwin a tantrum, "act like you was raised with some sense and show some respect." Then she smiled in A sharp, tight way that never touched her eyes. "Evie, Saint," she added smoothly, turning toward my parents, "excuse my baby boys' possessive and emotional ways." Possessive. Emotional. The disrespect in that sentence sat heavy.
Then Filesha stepped forward, smile bright, voice sweet, like she was tryna to sprinkle sugar over gas. "Hey, Ayida," she said gently. "It's good to see you again." I didn't miss The moment Ayida's name left her mouth, their mama's head snapped toward her shoulder so fast it was almost violent. When her eyes landed on Ayida, That woman looked sick. Notoffended. Not angry. Sick. Like she'd swallowed somethin rotten and it was burnin its way back up. She stepped closer. Her gaze dragged over Ayida from head to toe like she was looking at a ghost that shouldn't exist. Ayida stiffened beside me, fingers digging into my hand hard enough to hurt.
I pulled her closer she was damn near entwined in me at this point. I couldn't hold her any tighter. I could damn near hear her heart. Fast and Panicked. Mozele inched closer again. And before she could get within arm's reach, my mama stepped forward so fast it had me scared.
"It was good seein' y'all, Mozele" Mama said sharply, plantin herself like a wall, "but I think it's about time for y'all to move along." She stared that woman dead in her face. No fear. No hesitation. Their mama smirked. A slow, knowing curve of her lips that made it feel dark and cold. "I think you right," she said smoothly. "But before I go, " Her eyes slid past Mama. Locked onto Ayida. "When did the St. Jeans start taking in rotten fruit?" Somethin inside me snapped tight. My nostrils flared and I felt my face frown up "Your baeebby boy know she'll never give him life?" she continued, venom dripping off every word. "Or you didn't tell him that part of the story?"
I didn't think. Didn't breathe. Didn't hesitate. My gun was in my hand before the thought even finished forming. Before I could raise it, Pierre's hand clamped down over mine, hard as hell. "Nawl, fuck that!" I snarled, voice shakin with rage. "What the fuck that old decrepit ass bitch just say? I'll blow this hoe brains out right here." The words tasted like iron. Blood. Everything I'd been holding back.
She didn't move or raise her voice. Just lifted her chin and called for her children. "Nash. Filesha." They turned immediately. They walked away like they hadn't just set a bomboff in the middle of my life. I stood there shakin like a hoe in church. Gun still in my hand. Heart poundin so hard it hurt.
I felt The absence beside me. I looked down. Ayida wasn't there no more. I turned just in time to see her pullin away from the crowd, tears streaming down her face, makeup ruined, hands shakin as she walked fast like she was trying to outrun somethin that lived inside her. "Ayida," I called, panic crackin through my voice. "Baeebbyy, wait." I moved to go after her. Chiana stepped in front of me, hands up, eyes steady. "We got her," she said firmly. "You stay with your brothers." Amina was already moving, following Ayida without a word.
I stood there. Gun lowered. Chest heaving. Everything inside me twisted up. rage, confusion, heartbreak, betrayal, fear I didn't have words for. They didn't just disrespect my wife. They didn't just expose her pain. They tried to break her in public. And the worst part was I didn't even know she was bleeding like that. I was angry as a motherfucka. Confused as a motherfucka.
For the first time since I woke up from that hospital bed, I felt somethin worse than fear. I felt like I was losin control. I knew, deep, bone deep, Somebody was gonna pay for that.
ayida
I sat on Amina's couch and didn't move. My body was there, but my spirit was somewhere else floating, shaking, not anchored to nothing solid. Amina's living room felt too bright and too dim at the same time. The lamp by the window cast a soft amber glow, but it didn't warm me. It just highlighted how undone I was. My knees bounced without permission, up and down, up and down, like my body was trying to outrun my thoughts.
My hands wouldn't stop sweating. I wiped them on my dress once. Three times. They stayed wet. The tears wouldn't stop either. They just kept coming, slipping out the corners of my eyes no matter how many times I told myself to pull it together. I felt empty and overfull at the same time like something had been ripped out of me and exposed to the air.
Chiana sat on one side of me. Amina on the other. Their arms were around me, hands rubbing my back, my shoulders, comfort I knew they were giving, words I knew they were saying. But I didn't hear any of it. Their voices sounded far away, like they were talking underwater. Everything felt muted except the pounding in my chest and the shame curling hot and ugly in my stomach.
I was distraught, Embarrassed, and Laid bare in a way I had spent my whole life avoiding. And the worst thought, the one that made my throat close up and my chest ache, Noles probably hated me. "Bondyé mwen"My God.I whispered, the words barely leaving my lips. I had left him. standing there with my blood spilled all over that casino floor, my secret shouted out like a curse, my pain weaponized in front of everybody he loved.I didn't even look back. I didn't know how. I didn't know how to stand there and not crumble completely.
The thought hit me all over again and my stomach lurched hard. I gagged. Before I could say anything, before anybody could grab me, I jumped up off the couch and stumbled down the hallway toward the bathroom. My heels came off somewhere behind me, clattering against the hardwood floor. I barely made it to the toilet before my body betrayed me completely. I dropped to my knees and emptied my stomach. Dry heaving. Burning throat. Tears falling straight into the bowl.
I pressed my forehead against the cool porcelain, shaking, whispering prayers I didn't even know I remembered.
Please... please... please...I didn't know what I was asking for. Forgiveness maybe. Relief or To disappear.
I heard the door open softly. Felt hands on my back. Someone holding my hair. Someone pressing a cool glass into my palm. When I finally leaned back, dizzy and hollow, I looked up at them. Chiana's eyes were glassy. Amina's jaw was tight like she was holding her own emotions in check so I didn't have to. "Drink," Amina said gently. "Take this too."
I didn't ask what it was. I swallowed what they gave me, let the water wash the acid out my mouth, then let them guide me back to the couch like I was fragile glass. I curled in on myself again, arms wrapped around my middle, like I could hold myself together if I tried hard enough. "Anybody checked on Nia?" I asked suddenly, my voice small, hoarse.
Chiana nodded. "Yeah. I just got a text from her. She's fine. Shaken, she with Jules now." I nodded slowly. Reliefflickered, then faded. Amina crossed her arms, studying me. "We worried about you, Ayida." I swallowed hard.
"Your husband called a few times," Chiana added softly. My chest tightened instantly. I reached for my purse like it might bite me, remembered I'd turned my phone off a long time ago. I couldn't hear his voice right then. I couldn't handle his silence either. I was trapped either way.
"He probably so angry," I whispered, staring at the wall like it might answer me. "He probably don't want nothin' to do with me after this." The words felt poisonous coming out my mouth, but I couldn't stop them. "I can't believe my worst nightmare just came true," I said, my voice cracking. "I spent my whole life trying to make sure nobody ever found out like that. And now... now it's out. In front of everybody. Like I'm not even human." Chiana made a sound and waved her hand. "Girl, please. That man love you."
I shook my head slowly, tears spilling again. "Love ain't always enough." She leaned forward, catching my chin gently. "Ayida. I know this scary. And I know the way it came out was fucked up. But this is your husband. This ain't no boyfriend you can disappear on." Amina nodded. "Things different when you married. You don't get to protect yourself by runnin' no more, gurl." Their words hit deep because they were true. I admired them both. The way they stood in their lives, in their marriages, in their truth even when it was ugly. I wanted that strength. I just didn't know how to hold it yet.
Before I could say anything else, Chiana's phone rang. The sound made all three of us freeze. She looked down at the screen, then back up at me. "It's Juste." My stomach dropped. I nodded. Knowing she'd answer anyway. She put it on speaker.
"Hello?"
"Drop Ayida off at home," Juste said, voice calm but firm. "Then you come home."
"Okay," Chiana replied immediately.
