I’m famished, I said, rinsing the shampoo from my hair and reaching for the conditioner.
I wondered if he liked the state I’d left his kitchen in.
You should have marked his bed, Bouda murmured, curling up.
I drew the line at peeing on his furniture.
???
The massive slab of meat sizzled in the pan as I cracked a few eggs into it. The onions were nicely caramelising, and I added a knob of butter. I went back to the fridge to get another sprig of thyme.
The kitchen was spotless when I came in, and I couldn’t help but feel guilty because it wasn’t the dickhead who would have had to clean up after me.
A touch of cracked black pepper and sea salt, and the food was done. The plate was ready, and I simply slid it all on there. I was too hungry to care what landed where. I used the tongs to scrape out the last of the onions before I sat at the table.
I was halfway finished when I heard the staircase creak and ate a little faster.
His shoes tapped on the wooden floor as he strode into the kitchen, like he expected me to look up.
“I hope you clean up after yourself this time,” he muttered.
I continued eating. The steak had enough fat to keep it nice and juicy, so I didn’t need to chew it much before swallowing. I scooped the last of the egg and onions, shovelling them into my mouth.
The fresh orange juice was next.
I could smell the coffee brewing, but I didn’t look up.
With a satisfied sigh, I placed the empty glass on the plate. I could feel a burp brewing and decided it was better in than out.
The sound ripped through the kitchen more violently than a roar.
“Disgusting,” he snapped.
I wanted to remind him that he polished my asshole with his tongue, but he didn't deserve my words.
I left my dishes on the table and walked out.
I did it more to piss him off. I’d be back to wash up once he’d left. That was my first solid meal after days, so I didn’t care what he thought.
Not after the fucker tried to starve me.
???
For the first time, I was rooting for the hyenas over the lions. My hand moved faster as they circled the lion hunched over the carcass. Crisps fell from my mouth onto my lap. I didn’t bother brushing them off before grabbing more from the bag.
“No!” I screamed at the TV when the female lions showed up to defend the stupid lion.
Even Bouda was angry. Not a laugh in sight.
“Can you keep your feetoffmy furniture?”
I glanced up. Blaidd stood in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. He wore his usual shirt, tie, and trousers, laptop open and balanced in one hand.
I fisted a handful of crisps and shoved them into my mouth, chomping loudly.
I kept my feet on the table and went back to my nature programme.
???
