I’d felt useless as a mother because he seemed to do everything so naturally, but as I pieced it together, it began to make sense. The books on baby care and development. The late-night laptop research. Falling asleep mid-chapter.
“So you made me feel like nothing but a milking machine by becoming the perfect daddy?”
“What? No.”
He was nothing like the man I’d first met. The old Blaidd would never have put anyone before himself. I wondered if pregnancy hormones affected men too—or if this was a wolf thing.
Both, Fenrir replied.I’ve benefited considerably from him trying to do everything for our pups.
So you just let him suffer?
Didn’t we make you suffer?
Good point.
“Blaidd,” I said softly,“I told you we’d do this together. You can let go a little.”
He looked relieved at my response as all the tension drained from his shoulders.
“Look at them. They’ll need both of us,” I said, glancing down at our children.“How we raise them will be forever imprinted in them. What do you see for their future?”
“A leader and a warrior,” he said without a thought.
“Which one?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at him.
“Both of them. They’re Prothero-Toleras,” he said, pride threading through his voice.“They come from two ancient bloodlines.”
He doted on both of them, but I was glad Anaya wasn’t diminished for being a female. My parents and grandparents never made me feel less for being a female. It could’ve been because after me, my mum couldn’t have any more children. Listening to friends from high school and university, I knew not everyone’s family thought like this.
“They’re falling asleep,” he said.
I glanced down to see they’d stopped suckling.
They weren’t identical, but both had a mixture of our features. Anaya had Blaidd’s eyes, and Owain had mine. I’d been worried about how they’d get along since the hyena side didn’t tolerate siblings, but they were both content, and I had to credit Blaidd for that. His routine for them was rigid, but it meant they were fed, rested and clean at all times.
“Let’s put them down,” I murmured.
Owain was closest to him. He carefully scooped him off the pillow while I did the same with Anaya. After a quick nappy check, we placed them in their double cot.
He slipped his hand into mine as we stood over them.
We were still navigating through my family, work and us. Neither of us was weak-willed—and these were exactly the conversations we needed to keep having, for our family and for my sanity.
I didn’t see this as problematic since discovering new layers to Blaidd and Fenrir was enlightening. The wolf was pack-oriented, but the hyena wasn't.
It was also the downfall of the old Blaidd.
The irony wasn't lost on me.
Blaidd
She fell asleep with my knot inside of her while I remained awake and contemplating our earlier conversation. It was difficult for me to let go. Control meant order in my life, and adjusting myself for our pups left me disoriented and humbled in ways I’d never imagined. It made me realise how much my mother had loved me—the regrets I had for not making time for her as I built my empire.
The children had Lielit’s family, but they’d refused the house I’d offered them. I didn't resent their decision since my past actions hardly inspired trust.
If anyone laid a finger on my pups, they’d be headless, Fenrir growled.
Did you remember anything more about these other wolves?I asked, ignoring his threats against our family.
