I can't argue with that logic, but the reality remains. "We're running out of time."
"I know." Micah's frustration bleeds through the bond. "We all know. But asking Killian to just accept Villeneuve as our sponsor is like asking him to roll over and show his belly to a predator."
The image makes me smile despite myself. "He did agree to let me approach Villeneuve in the first place."
"Yeah, and he's been a nightmare ever since." Rowan appears in the doorway, wiping his hands on a dish towel. "I found him at three AM last night, reorganizing the weapons cabinet. We don't even use half that shit."
"He stress-cleans," Micah explains. "It's a thing."
"Apparently." I pull my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. I can feel both of them watching me, sensing the shift in my mood. "I hate that he's torturing himself over this."
"It's not your fault," Rowan says immediately, crossing to sit on the edge of the nest. "Killian's just... protective. Of the pack in general, but especially you."
"Obsessively protective," Micah adds. "Which is saying something for an alpha wolf."
I'm still thinking about Villeneuve's offer. The teaching assistant position, the fast-track to graduate school, access to resources I've only dreamed about. It's everything I wanted before Kyle convinced me to abandon my academic ambitions.
But accepting it means working closely with a man my mates fundamentally distrust.
A man who might be dangerous, who's definitely hiding something, who makes my wolves' hackles rise on instinct.
Is it worth it?
"We lost you there," Micah says, stroking a strand of hair from my face.
"Sorry." I force a smile. "Just… processing."
"Want to talk about it?"
I hesitate. The bond between us is still so new, and I'm not used to sharing my internal struggles. Years with Kyle taught me that vulnerability was a weapon to be used against me.
But these wolves aren't Kyle. And the bond makes lying pointless anyway.
"I don't know what to do," I admit finally. "About Villeneuve's offer."
Rowan and Micah exchange a look.
"What do youwantto do?" Rowan asks carefully.
"That's the problem. Part of me wants to jump at it. The chance to study under someone like Villeneuve, to have access to that kind of knowledge..." I trail off, picking at a loose thread on the blanket. "But the other part knows how much it would bother you guys. Especially Killian."
"Fuck what it does to us," Micah says, surprising me with his vehemence. "What does it do toyou? That's what matters."
I look up at him, searching his face for any sign of insincerity. But all I find is genuine concern, genuine interest in my wellbeing over his own comfort.
"I'm scared," I admit softly. "Scared that accepting means I'm walking into another trap. That Villeneuve wants something from me I'm not prepared to give."
"That's a valid fear," Rowan points out in a gentle voice. "Given your history."
"But I'm also scared that I don't have what it takes. That I've spent so long telling myself I would have done this and that if it wasn't for Kyle, but maybe I wouldn't have made it even if I had tried."
"Okay, nowthat'sbullshit," Micah says in his gentle, blunt way only he can pull off.
"Agreed," Rowan says, smiling. "You're brilliant. You could run this whole school if you wanted."
"Sweet, but overconfident," I say, but I can't help smiling back.
"For what it's worth," Micah says slowly, "I don't think you should make this decision based on what we want. Or what Killian wants. This is about your future. Your dreams."
