“She was so small.Barely bigger than my hand.But even then, she had this presence, like she knew she was important.”He chuckled.“And she is.”
Dimri found himself curious.He’d seen the princess around the palace, of course, but always from a distance.His work kept him in the shadows, away from the prince’s daily life, even though his every moment was dedicated to protecting them.“What’s she like?”
“Fierce.”Roque’s smile widened.“Did you know that during the attack, she stabbed one of Ramiel’s demons with a butter knife?”
“A butter knife?”
“Right in the thigh.She was so proud of it when she told me.She asked me if she’d done good.”
Dimri snorted, almost choking on his soup.“She’s seven.”
“Seven and already more dangerous than half the palace guards.”Roque’s expression grew fond.
There was something in his voice that Dimri had never heard coming from him.It was strange seeing this side of him, but Dimri liked it.“You care a lot about them,” Dimri said.
“They gave me a home.Before Berith, I was just another palace guard.I was replaceable, and maybe I still am, but I feel useful.I feel like I matter.What about you?How long have you been Berith’s spymaster?”
“Five years officially.Longer unofficially.”
“What does that mean?”
Dimri hesitated.He didn’t usually talk about his past—it wasn’t relevant to his work, and he didn’t want most people to know.Roque was different, though.“I grew up on the streets,” he said finally.“I had no family, no home.No one to protect me, and a lot of people ready to hurt me.When you live like that, you learn things.You meet people others don’t see, and it’s not often pleasant, but it’s useful.It helped me survive.I started selling information to the palace’s spymaster when I was twelve.Nothing important at first, just gossip and rumors.”
“And they took you under their wing?”
“Eventually.She had me investigated first—I would have done the same thing in her place.But eventually, she offered me a place by her side.She warned me that it wasn’t easy and that I’d always live in the shadows, but that was fine with me.I already did.She gave me a job, with steady pay and a purpose beyond just staying alive.I could protect people with my knowledge.”
“Is that what you wanted?To protect people?”
The question caught Dimri off-guard.He’d never really thought about it in those terms.He’d been trying to survive, and he had.“I spent my whole childhood watching people get hurt because they couldn’t afford protection, or were in the wrong place at the wrong time.”He paused, thinking about all the threats he’d identified and neutralized before they could reach Berith’s family.He’d kept Berith alive, and in turn, Berith had taken care of the people who lived in his territory.He’d made life better for a lot of people.“When I was fifteen, I watched a family get slaughtered because they couldn’t pay protection money to a gang.I knew it was going to happen, but I didn’t warn them.I was just trying to survive myself, and I was afraid.”
Roque had stopped eating.He was watching Dimri, and the intensity of it made Dimri uncomfortable.He wasn’t used to being open like this, but it felt like a necessity.
“That night, I decided that if I ever had the power to prevent something like that, I would,” Dimri continued.“Even if it meant putting myself at risk.”
“And working for Berith gave you that power.”
“Working for Berith gave me the resources to build something bigger than my survival.”
Dimri was glad all of that was out there, but he hoped he’d never have to talk about it again.They sat in comfortable silence for a moment.Dimri could hear the rain beginning to fall outside.It was cozy, and it made him wonder if they’d still be there in a year or five, if this might be their future.
“I never knew any of that,” Roque said.
“Only Berith does.People just see the spy, like you did initially.I’m the paranoid one who trusts no one and plans for everything.”Dimri shrugged, wincing when pain flashed in his shoulder.“It’s easier that way.”
“Easier for who?”
“For everyone.People don’t expect much from someone who grew up with nothing.But they trust Berith’s spymaster.”And it was easier for Dimri because it meant he didn’t have to be vulnerable.He was still protecting himself, just in different ways than he had when he was a child on the streets.
Roque stared at Dimri until he made Dimri want to squirm.“You’re not what I thought you were,” he said.
“What did you think I was?”
“Cold.Calculating.Someone who cared more about information than people.”
“Iamcold and calculating.It’s what keeps people alive.”
“But that’s not all you are.”
