“Did you see anyone else that day? Anyone at all? It’s usually busy on the weekends up on those trails, isn’t it? One time Danielle and I went for a walk up there, and I swear it was like we were on a pilgrimage with all those people.”
God, I wish I could tell her what she wants to hear. I’d love for it to be true too.
“No, not a soul. It was strange. There are always people up there, but when Bryan and I got up to the clearing at the top of the first little hill, there wasn’t a soul around. I don’t know where the hell everyone was. He mentioned he thought they could be down on the golf course. Then we talked about how that wasn’t possible since there wasn’t a reservation open for the next few weeks.”
Waving her hands, she shakes her head wildly. “Forget all of that nonsense! It’s not helping. We need to focus on the difference between suicide and murder. That coroner is the one who will save you. Maybe he just needs some more time to look into it.”
“No! He already decided it wasn’t suicide. How the hell would I even be able to make him see he should take a second look?”
Sadly, she has no answer to that. Nobody does. That’s the problem. If the coroner had at least said Bryan’s manner of death was undetermined, that would make it possible for me to argue my case. He didn’t. He took one look at the damn body and decided it was homicide.
And now I’m public enemy number one.
Jamie’s silence is deafening. I always thought that if I ever ran into trouble with anything in life that she’d be by my side supporting me one hundred percent. What I see in her at this moment says that belief was wrong.
“The cops say I should hire a lawyer. If I have to, we’re going to have to cut back on some things around here.”
I watch as her reaction tells me everything I need to know. Her eyes get big, and she looks like she’s about to cry.
“Like what? We’re barely spending on anything now, Connor. What are you planning to cut out?”
Looking around where we stand, I say, “Well, we can get rid of those streaming channels. We can cut back on the landscaper to once a month, and we can handle the upkeep of the yard.”
“Once a month! Our yard is going to start looking like a jungle if we only have him come once a month,” she says in that voice of hers that’s nothing but pure whining.
“Then we’ll have to mow our lawn ourselves, Jamie. It’s not like it’s all hills and hard to do.”
She narrows her eyes in anger and asks, “And I assume you think I should do it since you work full-time?”
I’m in a fight for my life, and she’s only concerned with how much effort she’ll have to put into the goddamned lawn! How did I ever think she would stand by me when times got tough?
“I assume you’re going to do your part, Jamie. And if the lawyer costs as much as I think he will, then the girls are going to have to stop their gymnastics lessons. At least until everything is cleared.”
My wife backs away with a look of pure disgust like I’ve just informed her of some horrible secret she can’t respect. It’s fucking gymnastics! Am I supposed to keep paying for those damned lessons instead of paying for a lawyer?
“Connor, I won’t let you do that to the girls. They’ve made the team. They’re fantastic gymnasts. I won’t let your mistake ruin their chances for scholarships and college. I won’t.”
Something inside my brain snaps, and I bark, “My mistake? I went for a walk with a co-worker! That’s it. That’s my mistake. If you want them to stay in gymnastics, then you better find a job because that’s the only way we’ll be able to afford it if I have to hire a lawyer.”
She glares at me for that. Sorry, honey, but tough times call for tough measures.
Jamie points her finger at me as she continues to glare in my direction. “When we had Cassandra, we decided I would stay home. Then when the girls went to school all day, I wanted to get a job. You said no. Now, after all these years, you want me to get a job? Yeah, that’s going to be easy.”
Everything is about her. Why can’t she just support me?
“Nobody is saying you’ll have to get anything professional when it comes to a job. Just something that will help now. Get something that will allow you to use the skills you use here. Maybe a short order cook or a waitress.”
Her face twists into an ugly expression. “I manage everything in this house, although it’s clear you think that’s not much if you think I should just get a job as a cook or a server. I drive the girls wherever they have to go. School. Gymnastics. Social events. Me. I’m the one who shuttles them around, not you. I do all thecooking and cleaning here. I do all the shopping. I make sure all the bills are paid on time. I handle everything here. Anything that has to happen around this house happens because of me, and now you say I should get a job if I want the girls to stay in gymnastics? Maybe if you had agreed to my getting a job when Danielle went to first grade we wouldn’t be in such a hard place now.”
I’ve heard enough out of her today. If she can’t support me, then I don’t need to bother with her anymore.
“You may do all of that, Jamie, but there would be no house, no private school, no gymnastics, no landscaper, and no anything else without me. Remember that when you’re listing all the things you do around here.”
As I push past her, she says, “I don't know what to do. I don’t know how to keep them safe from this... this nightmare. The looks. The questions. The police coming to the door.”
I spin around and look at her in disbelief. “Maybe stand by me? I am your husband. Anyway, they don’t have evidence, and they need that to actually bring charges. A good lawyer would be able to rip that idiot coroner’s report to shreds.”
Except a good lawyer is going to be almost impossible to afford since we’re practically living paycheck to paycheck as it is.
