“Well, this is bad, but it’s not really about you. Everyone at practice was talking about how Connor…”
She stops and leans over the table so our faces are barely six inches apart. Whispering so I can barely hear her, she continues. “They’re saying he shot someone, Jamie. That Connor is the person who killed that poor man up on the nature paths. I heard Kayleigh’s mother say she overheard a couple of the cops talking at that vegan restaurant that just opened up, and they supposedly said they’re going to arrest him!”
I listen to all she has to say, horrified that this little problem of Connor’s has now become all anyone can talk about in town. After all I’ve done to ensure our daughters have the best chance at success, he has to go and screw it up.
Damn him!
Even though I’m angry at my husband, I can’t show Maris that. I can’t even show her this new gossip about him, and by extension about me and the girls, bothers me.
So I force a smile I need to look genuine and wave my hand as if to make it seem like none of what she’s told me bothers me in the least. “Oh, it’s all a mistake. Connor is devastated by the man’s death, but he had no part in it. The man accidently shot himself. It’s unfortunate, but it’s no one’s fault. I do appreciate you worrying about me, though. Thank you, Maris.”
She has no idea how much effort it took to say all of that. I want to scream and run out of this coffee shop in humiliation. I’ve worked assiduously day in and day out to make sure my family is never part of the sordid gossip that permeates the gymnastics practices, and now because of Connor and some jackass who doesn’t know how to handle a gun, all four of us are being talked about at this very moment.
Maris reaches across the table and gives my hand a sympathetic squeeze. “I’m so happy to hear this! You know how the mothers at gymnastics can be. I didn’t think any of it was true, but I knew I had to make sure you knew about what they’re saying.”
Once more, I wave away her concern even as mine grows by leaps and bounds. “No, it’s all good. Our community is a very small one, so I’m not surprised to hear someone’s running with this tale. I mean, a man did die, so I wish they’d be a bit more sensitive to that, but it’s nothing new. The mothers will gossip about anything.”
Then a horrible thought fills my brain. Have my girls heard this terrible rumor at practice? That’s supposed to be a safe place for them. How dare those mothers do this to them!
I don’t want Maris to think I’m giving any credence to what’s being said, but I have to know if the girls are being spared the gossip. It’s bad enough that girl at school said something toDanielle. I don’t want their place on the gymnastics squad to be in danger because of this rumor.
“My girls didn’t hear any of this, did they? I’d hate for them to hear grown women saying something cruel about their father.”
Quickly, Maris shakes her head. “No, I don’t think so. It was mostly just the talk up in the stands. You know, where we all sit while the girls practice? I don’t think they could hear anything they were talking about, thankfully.”
I smile and nod like everything’s okay, but I can’t help but wonder why Vanessa didn’t handle this after our conversation last night. She clearly knows that rumor isn’t true since we spoke about that very topic, so why isn’t she stopping it?
So much for nipping things in the bud.
As much as I want to run out of this café right now, I know I can’t. Appearance is everything, and if Maris thinks I’m even a tiny bit bothered by what she told me, she’ll assume there’s a kernel of truth to it.
I lean back in my chair and crack my neck, smiling the entire time. “You know what I think I need to get back to? Yoga. I haven’t been to a class in over a month, and I’m starting to really feel it.”
For a few moments, she seems confused, but then she nods her head and returns the smile. “I’m the same way. If I let any time pass, I’m as stiff as a board. Can you believe that? I’m not even thirty, and I’m already feeling like a sixty-year-old woman.”
The two of us laugh at that, but for me, it’s all an act. My world is crashing down around me, and I have no choice but to sit here and smile as if nothing is wrong.
I’ve seen what can happen when a rumor like this isn’t quashed quickly. A woman named Jenna a few years ago became the subject of horrible gossip saying she was cheating on her husband, whose name I can’t remember anymore. Her daughterKatlyn was a new girl at gymnastics, and she had real talent that could have helped the team.
None of that mattered once those mothers got wind of the rumor about Jenna. It didn’t matter that it was entirely untrue. The man some of the women had seen her with was her brother, and everything was easily explained away.
Still, they talked about her so much that she never wanted to stay to watch the girls practice, and once she was gone, her daughter never had a chance. The mothers pressured the coach to leave Katlyn off the team, even though it hurt the squad, and before long, the girl dropped out. The last I heard, the family had moved away, disgusted by how ugly their neighbors had made things for them, and all over a misunderstanding none of the mothers would admit.
I need to figure out how to fix this mess before it ruins everything for my family.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Connor
Alone at the dinner table,I enjoy a moment of peace before my wife and daughters join me. The smell of some kind of roast fills the air as Jamie scurries around the kitchen getting things ready. She mumbles something about asparagus being better with extra virgin olive oil, but I don’t bother to ask what she means. My wife routinely talks to herself about things I don’t give a damn about. I’m not even sure she cares about the things she says. I think it’s just her way of filling the silence, which she seems to hate.
For me, silence is a luxury I don’t get to experience enough. If I could have a week of pure peace and quiet, I’d think I died and went to heaven. Not having to listen to anything about work or my wife’s complaints about needing something or the girls’ requests for more and more things they absolutely, positively must have would be a dream come true.
Unfortunately, that’s all it’s ever going to be. A dream.
“Connor, did you pick up the mail on your way in from getting home from work?” my wife calls from the kitchen.
I’m literally ten feet away from where she’s standing. Why she needs to yell is beyond me. And why can’t she just ask when she sits down with me to eat at the same table?
