“It wasn’t what I was going to lead with,” I muttered.
He chuckled and then rubbed the back of his neck. “I hope you know I have no interest in Quentin romantically.”
“I guess old habits die hard with the comments.”
“Something like that. I only ever wanted to protect her. From you.”
“And I assume your position on that has changed?”
“No. Not exactly. But she’s survived a lot worse, so you’re not anything to lose sleep over.”
It irked me that Archer still thought I was some sort of threat to Quen. She was my bound and I wouldn’t hurt her. Perhaps he would accept it once they started working together, and she was a permanent resident of Elysia.
“Look, Archer, this conversation I wanted to have with you wasn’t about Quentin. It was about Elara.”
His faced drained of colour, as it often did when his soulbound was raised. The spark and humour he had possessed moments before had disappeared to be replaced with a guarded look.
“What about her?” he asked, sounding less friendly.
“What you saw… What I did…” I took in a deep breath. “It doesn’t make it right and I don’t expect you to forgive me for it, but I tried to carry out her wishes. I tried to make sure she had a friend with her even in those last moments.”
Archer stared at a point over my shoulder, frozen in time and eyes growing glassy. If this had been Ig, I would have clapped a hand on his shoulder and pulled him into a hug. However, this was Archer and we didn’t foster that type of relationship. I was doubtful that we ever would.
“I never understood your friendship with her,” Archer admitted. “Hope and chaos. Even now it makes little sense to me, but it worked for you both.” He paused, looking out at Quentin, but not really seeing her. He was away somewhere in his head. Archer swallowed hard. “I am grateful that she could turn to you when I couldn’t be there for her. When I couldn’t save her.”
Those words were a punch in the gut. I never realised that Archer also blamed himself for what happened to Elara. She was his bound. It would have been his natural instinct to protect her at all costs. I knew how I had felt when Quentin was taken away from me, but our outcomes had been very different, and he lived with his guilt every day.
“No one could have saved her,” I said, feeling my throat tighten.
He nodded his head slowly and locked his eyes with mine. “You did what she asked of you.”
Maybe there was a selfish part of me that hoped for redemption now that Archer knew the truth, but he wasn’t ready to absolve me from my sins any more than I was ready to forgive myself. The mistakes of the past were there to serve as a constant reminder.
Archer turned his head, looking out at Quentin again. She was leaning down to inspect the flowers, brushing her fingers against the petal. Enjoying simple pleasures. He kept his focus on her as he spoke. “If the situations had been reversed, I would have done the same.”
I ground my teeth together to stop myself from saying something I would regret. To think that Quentin would ever be in that position…
This was my penance. Archer and Quentin’s friendship was an echo of mine and Elara’s. I just hoped it would end in a happier fashion.
“Are you two done?” Quen called, using her hand to shield her eyes from the sun.
“All finished, golden girl,” I replied. Taking a few steps past Archer, I held my hand out for her and Quentin walked back to me, taking it and gracing me with a smile.
“If you’ve both completed your business, I’d like to have some peace in my home again,” Archer said, trying and failing to sound light-hearted.
“Sorry for dropping in unannounced,” Quentin said, shooting me a pointed look.
“If you need anything…” I trailed off.
“I’ll be sure to let Quentin know.”
Ihadn’t dragged my feet when electing the council members, but I took my time. Partially, it was out of care and partially because what came next would be so much more difficult. I knew there was no way I could move forward with dress fittings and finalising details for the coronation when I hadn’t spoken to everyone back on Earth, including Cassidy.
Telling the lab had been smoother than I expected. James glowed with pride, knowing he’d had a major role to play in things going our way. Gareth had been awkward, but it was nothing more than I expected. He was the most devout of all of us on the project and my new position amongst the Gods humbled him.
“Let us know what you need from us,” Gareth told me as I got ready to leave the building for the last time. “We’ll follow your lead.”
That was something that was going to take some getting used to. My idea of leading had been my lab, and the plan was to move to a bigger team. But now leading had a slightly different meaning with many more followers.
