Her fingers traced three numbers along the back of my neck.
“What does it mean?” I asked her. “One, four, three. You and Cassidy exchanged them at the wedding.”
She stilled her movements and took in a deep breath. “It means I love you. It’s the number of letters in each word of the phrase. Mum and Dad used it when they were in theatre and couldn’t speak to each other. They taught me and Cass. I learned to use it when I was mad at them and didn’t want to say the words out loud.”
“You use it for your family.”
“I use it for my family,” she repeated quietly.
“You’ve been telling me you love me for a long time,” I commented, thinking back through our time together.
“Longer than I care to admit. If we do this, you can’t hide anything from me again,” Quentin said.
I stopped undoing her hair. “If we do this—"
“Ifwe do this, I need you to be honest with me. We make decisions together. You said I was your equal.”
“I said you were better than me.” The deep ache that felt like it would stop me from functioning instantly healed.
“I love you.” Quentin put her hand on my cheek, and I leaned into the touch. “I don’t think I’ll ever be capable of stopping that.”
“You are capable of stopping it.”
“I don’t want to.”
“I noticed you couldn’t find a reason to continue this,” I said, referring to her wall. “So many reasons to abandon me. What changed your mind?”
“Grayson,” she breathed. “That side of the wall is empty, not because I couldn’t think of anything, but because there were too many things.”
My brow furrowed as I processed her words. “Too many?”
She nodded in response. “And I don’t know how to vocalise them. All my life I’ve had so many words, but I struggle when it comes down to how you make me feel.”
“You understand I cannot change what I am. Destruction and vengeance and chaos. I work with death daily. I cannot give you some fairy-tale.”
“I never expected you to.”
“You have studied a tiny molecule that makes you who you are. You mastered it. But I tainted your DNA long before you even knew me. My name is graffitied across every cell in your body. You have a part of my soul and I have a part of yours, and I never want to lose it. I can’t lose you.”
Her cheeks flushed at my words before she muttered, “It will be a lifetime of disaster.”
A smile tugged at my lips. “You will light up my darkest days, and I will corrupt you every chance I get.”
“I will fight for every chance to spend the rest of my days with you, Grayson.”
Pulling her against my body, I laid us down in bed. Quentin tucked herself into my chest before pulling my face towards hers and kissing me deeply. Her tongue probed against my lips until I granted her access. The warmth of her mouth on mine shot liquid heat through my body. My hand slid up the back of her neck and fisted in her hair, tugging on the strands while she cupped my jaw. When she pulled away, golden eyes stared back at me.
In that moment, I knew with renewed certainty that I could never lose the woman in my arms. The few days of distance were bad enough. Any permanence of her absence would see me at Elva’s door with a very specific request.
“Quentin Scott, we will be together for eternity. I give you my word as a God.”
Iwoke up before Gray in my bed. We moved back into my room after talking last night. Both of us were exhausted, and it was entirely my fault.
His face was pressed against the pillow, full lips parted, and looking peaceful. Gray laid on his front with an arm draped over me—possessive even when unconscious. I missed sleeping like this with him. The last few weeks had taken its toll, but I finally felt settled again.
For all his faults and mistakes, for all the dark and terrible things he’d done, Gray was mine. Reaching out, I brushed a few strands of hair away from his forehead.
Soulbound.
