“That’s different.”
“How so, Cassidy? Please, enlighten me.”
“You’re my little sister.”
He looked embarrassed because he didn’t have a point, and I folded my arms across my chest.
“Did you want to speak to me about something?” I asked.
“About Grayson.”
There was a tight ball in my chest. I felt nervous. I imagined this was how it would feel if Dad were sitting there asking questions about my love life. My heart tugged, wondering what my parents would have made of Gray.
“You’re staying with him?” Cass asked. I nodded, and he mimicked the movement. “I saw you at dinner, Quen. One, four, three.”
I swallowed and felt my cheeks burn. “I —”
“You don’t have to explain,” he said. “You seem happy with him, duck, but I’m worried about you. I don’t want you getting hurt. I want you to make sure you know what you’re doing.”
My insides twisted. I planned everything in my life. Gray came crashing down into it with all his chaos and had brought nothing but that ever since. I didn’t want to think about the end when we were getting started. I knew the numbers I traced on him were a dangerous thing to do, but I could cope. I could get through it when it was time to fall apart.
All my life, I’d been abandoned. When people left you so frequently, you learned to pick up the pieces and carry on. This would be no different. When the time came, Gray would leave, and I’d break, but at least, I’d have the memories of whatever was between us and how it brought me back to life.
“I know what I’m doing,” I said.
A lie in its purest form.
“As long as you’re sure.”
Cass got up from his seat and enveloped me in a hug. I was glad I’d come to see him. Grateful he didn’t judge me.
When I got upstairs, Gray was already in bed — on the left.
“Ah, fuck,” I cussed.
“A vital error.”
“Let me have the left.”
“Not a chance. Get changed and get your ass in bed.”
I grumbled, changing into pyjamas, and crawling in beside him. I rested my head on his chest, and Gray played with my hair.
How could you feel so at peace with someone? What was I thinking when I wrote that note? I was so angry, and I took it out on Gray when I shouldn’t have.
“I’m sorry for leaving,” I said to him.
He kissed the top of my head. “It’s fine. We’re together now. What did your brother want?”
I laughed. “Just making sure I know what I’m getting myself into. I don’t think I could live without him.”
Gray tensed under my touch, and I looked at him.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“There may be a day when you’ll have to be without him.”
I blinked a few times. “That’s a really morbid thought, Gray, and not one I want to touch on.”
