I joined her on the bed, sitting down opposite her.
"You said you needed space. Why?" I asked.
Quen looked at me and I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out why she seemed so unsure now when she seemed so positive about us a day or so ago.
"I worked hard my entire life to get where I am," she answered.
"I know you did."
"I can’t lose it all because I’m messing around with you.”
I hated the way she degraded it to messing around. I was not messing around with her. Not anymore.
"If Gareth wasn't so nice to me, I could have lost my job." She looked at me. "I think I've lost both my friends."
There was a sinking feeling in me. It was more than sinking. It felt like splintering. Gods, was this what Erik meant about pain if we tried to break the bond? Didn't she feel it? I wanted to tell her, but I was unsure now. She was doubtful, seemed not as invested in this as I was, and I didn't want to force her hand.
"I'm still here," I reminded her, rubbing my chest. She gave me a weak smile, and I pulled her onto my lap. "You still have your job."
"For now."
"What did Gareth say?"
"That whatever is going on between us cannot affect my work anymore. I'm surprised he didn't kick me off your case and reassign me."
"He knows I won't work with anyone else."
It'd been months since my initial demand, but it remained the same. I wouldn't willingly cooperate if I didn't work with her.
Quen relaxed in my arms as she leaned against me, and the pain in my chest eased.
"I'll let you get on with your work,” I bartered. “I promise not to be a distraction."
"You can't promise that. You're distracting even when you try not to be."
I chuckled. "Quentin."
"Mmm?"
“If you really believe this isn’t what you want, if this will cause an issue with your career, then we can stop.”
Even as I said it, I knew I didn’t mean it.
Quentin was bound to me in ways she couldn’t comprehend. Even I struggled to understand the magnitude of the bond between us. I might have been able to give her days, maybe weeks, of space, but we’d wind up together.
Her hesitation in answering brought on a wave of panic I didn’t realise I could possess. And then her hand curled into my shirt, pulling me closer until she hugged me tight. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her hair. It was becoming evident that I needed to figure out a way to solve the issues that would keep us apart.
“I don’t want to stop seeing you,” she whispered.
“You know, I’m not messing around.”
Pulling away, she shot me a questioning look.
I wasn’t messing around, but I couldn’t commit any more than I had. None of it made sense, and it was driving me to madness.
She didn’t push it. Instead, she kissed me and any discomfort in my chest eased away to nothing. I moved us so that she was laying on the bed and caged her in with my arms.
“You can’t just disappear when you find things difficult,” I told her.
