I moved out of the way to let Charlie into the house.
"He's furious, Quentin. He says he doesn't want to see you and he couldn't care less. What's happened between you both?"
With Charlie sitting on my sofa, everything welled up, and I let out a sob.
"Quen! Oh, my Gods. I'm sorry. Come here." Charlie pulled me into a hug, and I cried harder. "What's happened?"
"He caught me with Gray," I whispered through the tears.
"You live with him, sweetie. They've always had bad blood."
I pulled away and looked at her as she understood the meaning behind my words. I needed someone to talk to, and I'd sat alone with this for too long. Charlie was someone I respected and depended on since we started on the project together.
"Oh Gods, you mean," Charlie started. "You cheated on him?"
I couldn't defend myself. I'd cheated on Matthew.
"I was going to break up with him.” But I cringed at how awful and weak the excuse sounded.
"But you didn't!" Charlie looked angry, and I didn't think I'd ever seen her like this before. "You've cheated on him! Gods, he practically worshipped you!"
"You have no idea, Charlotte. He's not perfect."
"He never said he was. Not that it matters. Gods, Quen, why would you do that to him?"
"I didn't do it on purpose!"
I hadn't set out to hurt him. I'd tried my hardest to stay away from Gray while I was with Matthew. I didn't know what made me want Gray so badly.
Charlie got up from the couch.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"I'm going back to see Matthew."
I stood. "Charlie, you can't tell anyone about this."
"Don't worry, Quentin. I'm not going to spread your dirty, little secret."
The words stung, but she wasn't wrong. We were hiding this the best we could because we both knew it was wrong. It wasn't a long-term relationship. It was sex. But sometimes, it didn't feel that simple. Times where the understanding and the connection went beyond physical and spanned into something more. Not that I could explain that to anyone. I wasn’t even brave enough to bring it up with Gray.
Charlie left the house, and the silence was deafening. I felt the tears well up in my eyes again.
What was I doing? Why was I doing this?
I'd hurt a friend and my career had been marked all because of a man. Because of the choices I was making revolving around a man. A man that couldn't even fully commit to me because of what he was. Why was I risking so much?
Making my way upstairs, I flipped open the lid of my laptop. I needed to get away from this. Gareth was right. I needed to clear my head. Reset and refocus. The job had been offered to me on a silver platter and I was meant to be working towards my own research group in my own lab.
My fingers flew across the keyboard as I searched and scanned and found exactly what I was looking for. A flight to New York in two hours.
I needed my brother.
For the entire flight and cab ride to Cass’s place, my mind had run so quickly that I wished I possessed a switch to turn it off. My heart and my head waged a war and there was no clear winner. And while they fought it out, I cried more than I had in years.
It was probably the most impulsive thing I'd done in a while, but I needed my big brother. Not just in the sense that I missed him, but I really needed him.
Cass and I were both level-headed children. I had more of a temper, but other than that, we were pretty even. There wasn't an awful lot that he needed to step in for and play up to his role as big brother, but that was what I required from him now.
