“Oh,” Carmen said, looking confused. “I thought with the way you told him to apologize—”
“No.” I shook my head. “And I didn’t tell him to apologize. I suggested it.”
Carmen rolled her eyes. “Whatever way you wish to dress it up. I’m surprised you haven’t reconciled.”
The conversation took a brief pause as the waiter returned with brunch. My stomach growled at the sight of the stack of fluffy pancakes in front of me covered in strawberries and syrup. “Thank you,” I said to the waiter and he gave me a curt nod before retreating from the table. “What would people say, Carmen? Everything got so messy.” Stabbing a fork into my brunch, I tore a bite away and brought it to my mouth. The way the rumors had spread like wildfire after my impromptu visit to church last week had played on loop in my head.
She regarded me for a moment, icy blue eyes drinking me in until I felt my skin start to prickle. “Do you love him?”
My eyes dropped down to the plate in front of me. I didn’t need to think about my answer. There was no doubt in my mind over whether or not I loved Luc. I felt it in the very fibers that held me together. Luc had always been the answer for a question I had never asked. “More than anything.”
“Then what does it matter, Mia?” That made me look up at my friend. “You know as well as I do that everyone in our little family has an opinion on things. Those of us who do well don’t allow the opinions of sheep to affect us.”
“That’s easier said than done,” I muttered, poking at a strawberry. My reintroduction to this world was not gentle, the way it had been the first time. This time, I’d been thrown to the wolves with sharp claws and sharper tongues.
“Don’t I know it,” she agreed. “I didn’t come from this world either. A lot of people doubted me and whether I would be a good fit for Emil. You can’t ignore them, but you can prove them wrong. If you love Luc, then be with him regardless of what anyone else thinks. It’d be a miserable life to give up on happiness because of a few catty comments.”
I poured myself a glass of water as I chewed over Carmen’s words. Proving people wrong had been tiring the first time around and it would be even more so now. But she had a point. Was I willing to give up on Luc because I was worried about turning the rumor mill even more?
“I think it’s stupid you’re not even considering it,” Carmen told me. “But that’s just my humble opinion.”
There was nothing humble about Carmen Diaz. If I thought that the men thought about each move before they made it, then Carmen had planned well in advance. Dragging my finger along the rim of the glass, I watched beads of water run down the outside and dampen the tablecloth.
“Whatever you want to ask, Mia just spit it out,” Carmen said, leaning back in her seat.
My finger paused the circular motion and I looked up at her properly. I considered Carmen a friend. She had been kind when I first met her at the Moretti New Year’s ball and continued to show me her generosity when she’d found me after I ran from Luc. However, I had been around this world for long enough to know that nothing came without a price. Our introduction had no fee, but the passport, papers and money that Carmen had handed over were because I had saved her son’s life. There was never the prospect of having the debt shift back into my court when I was meant to be starting a new life. It would have been a clean break, but I hadn’t left, and I was sure that meant Carmen had been deep in thought.
“What is it that you’re after?”
A smile stretched across her red painted lips and she leaned forward. “You’re starting to think like us. You’re already proving them wrong.”
I wasn’t sure whether to be proud of myself or disappointed that it had taken me so long. “Seems like it’s the only way I’m going to survive. So, what is it you want?”
“You’re a good friend to me, Mia.” Carmen wasn’t someone to bullshit people, so I knew she wasn’t trying to win me over with pretty words. “I made you Godmother to my children because I knew you’d be in our lives for good.”
“How did you know that?”
“I’ve known Lucas longer than you have. The boy has always had a temper, but he can see sense when he has all the facts in front of him.” Carmen inspected the glossy red nails on her hand, not a chip in sight. “I don’t want anything, per se.” The baby moved and I shifted in my seat to get comfortable again, waiting for her to continue. “I suppose you noticed the absence of a certain family at the christening?”
I hadn’t planned on mentioning it, but it hadn’t gone unnoticed that not a single Moretti had been around over the weekend. In all honesty, I was glad because it had made it a little easier to breathe.
“I have no patience for that family,” Carmen told me, pursing her lips. “Emilia has always been a simpering mess around that sorry excuse of a man she calls her husband.” I was shocked at just how blunt Carmen had chosen to be in front of me. There was an unspoken understanding that we were allied. That anything said between us would stay between us. “Xavier has never truly understood the words honor and duty and Horatio paid for it with his life.”
“Horatio?” I asked, unable to place a face to the name.
Carmen’s features softened. “Horatio was my father in law, God rest his soul. A few years ago, tensions between our families escalated. I credit you to be bright enough to imagine how it ended.”
I nodded my head slowly. “I’m sorry.”
She raised her fingers from the table to stop me from saying anything more. “It was a devastating loss, but you’ll learn that life is a currency in this world.”
My stomach knotted uncomfortably at that thought. Life was a currency. I had never thought about how much truth was behind that sentiment. Here, in a world of organized crime where social hierarchy was adhered to strictly, the mercy shown or murder committed could buy you into positions higher up the ladder.
“I’m still unsure of how I can help you with any of this.”
The corner of her mouth pulled upwards in a vague smile. “People are fond of you, Mia. You have a certain softness many of us don’t possess.” Carmen squinted her eyes, surveying me while she debated on whether to continue. Eventually she said, “I would put money on the fact that you’ve already been propositioned, considering you aren’t officially back together with Luc.” My cheeks burned with the blush. “Let me guess. Gabriel Moretti?”
“Don’t tell Luc.” I would let him know about Gabe’s plans soon.
