His relaxed demeanor tightened, and his eyes narrowed. “Good luck with that. You won’t find anyone that’s going to be able to take my place.” People usually pegged Dante as the easy going one out of the pair of us, but I knew him better than that. I knew just how hungry he was, how much he reveled in a position that gave him enough power without too much responsibility. This job was his sweet spot and he wasn’t going to give it up easily. I’d seen him fight for it before, but he’d never had me as an opponent.
“There are plenty of people willing to take the job. You aren’t irreplaceable, Dante.” There was a truth in there. He was a person, a body, and could be replaced by another.
“Plenty of people willing to take you out to get to your spot. Don’t be an idiot, Luc.” That was the problem. As flaky as Dante had become, I still trusted that this man answered to God and me, and not always in that order. His ambition was in line with mine and he wouldn’t try to go above my head in a bid for power. To replace him would be to start from scratch, and I didn’t have the patience to play games with someone who may or may not want to murder me.
The loud sound of barking came from deep inside the house, changing my train of thought. “Why’s he so worked up?”
“It’ll be nothing,” Dante replied, straightening up, but the barking continued to get more frantic.
I pushed him aside, with some struggle, so I could walk into the house properly. “It doesn’t sound like nothing.” Cerberus was the last tie to her. In the immediate aftermath of her disappearance, Cerb had moped around the house in a similar fashion to me. Dumb dog. Dumb Luc. He’d whined at the bedroom door and stood by her seat at the dining table. I’d even found him asleep in her side of the closet a few times. He hunted for her like I did, trying to make sense of why she would have left us, the two beings she professed to love more than anything in the world. As my sadness hardened to anger, watching Cerb continue to pine over her became too much, and in the end Dante had taken over his care.
“Luc! Wait!” Dante called, racing after me as I followed the barking down the hallway.
As I stepped into the kitchen, my heart stopped in my chest. There, crouching on the slate flooring, trying to calm down our overexcited German Shepherd, was the woman who had torn my soul from my body.
“Mia.” It was a whisper, worried that if I spoke too loudly I would startle her, and she’d disappear from in front of me. How many times had my mind tricked me? Every fan of dark hair, every outlandish laugh, every faint scent of citrus jumpstarted my heart with hope that she had returned, only to be disappointed. But here she was, in the flesh. When Mia looked up at me, a familiar pair of dark doe eyes met mine and all the air rushed out of my lungs. She picked herself up from the floor, dressed in jeans and an ill fitted hoodie that fell to her knees. Cerberus had fallen quiet, rubbing his head against her calf, and I felt an irrational sense of jealousy toward the dog.
In the silence that filled the house, I took her in. The last time I had seen Mia, grief had ravaged her features. She had lost weight, barely slept, and the most basic tasks seemed to be a mammoth effort for her. There were no obvious signs of loss in the way she looked now. In the six months she had been gone, her hair had grown longer, and she had regained some weight around her face. Other than that, she was the same as before; soft features and gentle movements. Mia had always been my opposite. Maybe she had grown tired of the rough edges that I possessed, and the world that had taken more than it had given her.
I couldn’t find it in me to step toward her because I didn’t know if I would hug her or snap her neck. Deep inside, two halves of me waged a war against each other. I could do it. I could end all of the pain now with a single shot. I’d wipe my slate clean and forget she ever existed.
“Hi,” she said, the word sounding like it was stuck in her throat.
The moment she spoke, the illusion shattered, and the floodgates opened. Dead or alive, I’d never rid myself of her. Mia had emblazoned herself in my soul and I hated that she continued to hold a certain level of power over me. All the rage that had built up over time, that had been directed at so many others in my life, pooled in my stomach until it ached and bubbled from my mouth.“What are you doing here?”
“Luc…”
Once, I had craved for her to call me Luc when she would only ever call me Lucas. Now, it felt like a knife to my heart. That level of familiarity that she eased into was no longer reserved for the likes of her. “Don’t.” She wasn’t allowed to be soft and sweet with me. She didn’t have a right to stand there and look scared of what I would say or do when she’d torn my heart clean out of my chest and left me on my own.
I thought the moment I saw her again I’d be able to pull the trigger. I had spent so much time convincing myself there was nothing between us anymore, but there was a complicated tangle of emotions beneath the rage. This woman had been mine. I’d have set the world on fire if she had asked, and that killer instinct faltered at the sight of her because the innate need to protect her, to hold her close, had hit me again.
“I came back.”
“Why?”
Mia chewed on her bottom lip, her tell for whenever she felt nervous. I’d seen her do it many times before. It made me want to pull her in and tell her not to worry, but I knew better. I knew she wasn’t some innocent woman who needed me. She’d proven she didn’t need me in the way I needed her.
“What do you need, Mia? Money? A job done?”
“What?” She seemed confused, not following my line of thinking.
“No one wants you here, Mia.” The sentences continued to tumble out of my mouth. I’d never thought of what I’d say to her when I saw her again. I hadn’t imagined finding her on the kitchen floor of my best friend’s house as if she had visited him to grab some sugar. It was so casual and so familiar that it could have been a scene of our life before she’d obliterated it. It scrambled my thoughts and made me doubt the past few months had even happened.
“That’s not fair.”
Who was she to talk about fair? I had given her everything she’d desired and more, and it still wasn’t enough for her. I’d listened to her rules. I’d killed for her. I’d been more than fair to this woman. All I asked for in return was trust and love, but she’d clearly had other plans. I was so easily disposed of and that had cut deep. This was fast becoming too much for me to handle. Balling my hands at my side, I yelled, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”
Dante, who had been standing in the doorway silently, watching the exchange, moved into the kitchen and stood next to me while Cerb began to bark at the tension. Dumb dog had always had his favorites. Mia stroked his head and he stood by her side, baring his teeth at me, growling in a display of his love and loyalty toward her.
“Mia,” Dante began, but she shook her head at him. A non-verbal signal for whatever agreement ran between them.
“Luc,” she said, turning her attention to me. “Listen to me.”
“God, you have everyone wrapped around your little finger again, don’t you?” It irked me the way such a subtle gesture from her had silenced Dante. How long had she been back for them to rekindle their bond? What tale had she spun him that he listened to her so readily, that he’d be willing to defy me?
Tentatively, she moved toward me, unsure of how I’d react, and I took a step back. I couldn’t let her back into my head. I wasn’t willing to let her back into my life. This woman broke me and ruined my reputation in one swift and selfish move. Although there was a part of me, miniscule compared to the rage, that desperately wanted to fall to my knees, beg for answers and ask her to start again, I could no longer allow myself to be that weak and vulnerable man.
“I made a mistake,” Mia said quietly. Meek and mild, but I knew this was only one side of her. I’d seen the fire that she possessed. This was all just an act to fuck with my head. To get her way again.
