“Luc, you need to be careful,” Dante said as he joined me, signaling to the bartender to pour another of what I had just ordered. His tie hung loosely around his neck and his jacket had been lost somewhere in the crowd of guests. If there was a party, then Dante would find his way to the heart of it.
“What do you mean?” I asked as the drink was handed over to me.
Dante nodded over in Mia's direction. "She's going to want it all, Luc. Someday she's going to want all this,” he explained, gesturing around us. “She'll want a ring and everything that comes along with it."
As Dante talked, I watched Dom dip Mia and heard her laugh from across the grounds. I felt a heavy sensation settle in the pit of my stomach. Mia had spent her life scraping by without a complaint, but she deserved more. Mia was the sun who had been forced into darkness for too long. She would find someone who would let her shine and the thought that that person would not be me drew the next words from my mouth.
"I could give her it.”
"Mr ‘I don't believe in marriage’?” Dante asked, eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hairline. “She really has done a number on you."
My parents hadn't exactly laid a strong foundation of love and marriage, so it had never been my priority, but with Mia I could see the appeal. I could see myself waking up to her every day the way I had this morning, doing all of this and truly making her my family. Mia would bear my name, belong to me without any shred of doubt.
"If you are thinking that way, you need to start letting her into our lives properly," Dante told me, sipping from his drink. "She needs to start making some decisions, Luc. You can't keep deciding what and who she should and shouldn't know and see."
Dante was only saying what Lydia had already said, only voicing what had been going around in my head. Things with Mia seemed possible when it was just the two of us but that was not how life worked. When I added in everything else, I didn't know if it was okay to bring her into this life fully. There was no question when the alternative meant I would let her go and someone else would take her.
But every time I thought of it, of having Mia next to me at every step, Isa’s face found its way to the forefront of my mind. Her lifeless body, blood stained blonde hair and rasping last words made me think I could never have what I truly wanted.
Even if I wanted all this, there was no guarantee that Mia would. There was sexual tension between us, an unhealthy level of jealousy for anyone who took our attention, but that didn’t mean that she wanted me for the rest of her life. Because to want me was to willingly submit to a life that wasn’t exactly pure. It was pledging loyalty to a family that was bigger than the people who lived inside of my four walls and taking a vow of silence that ensured that we stayed safe. I was under no illusion that it would be a big ask from someone who had no idea of my world until a few months ago.
"And if she decides she doesn't want any part of it?" I spoke my fear out aloud. The fear of rejection sat strong in my chest.
"Guess we'd cross that bridge when we get to it. If we get to it."
"I'll talk to her when we get home," I decided. I needed to lay all of this on the table for Mia once and for all. Dante, perhaps for the first time in his life, had made a valid point. If she didn't want to be a part of this, then at least I would be put out of my cycle of misery. There would be no tiptoeing around the topic any longer.
"Oh shit, here we go. Good luck." Dante's words pulled me out of my thoughts.
Amber was headed towards us with a swing in her hips.
"Hey, doll."
Chapter Twenty Two
Mia
"I'm so happy for you," I said as Dom and I danced among the other guests. The warmth of the evening and the surrounding people had started to show in the peeled layers of clothing and gradual flattening of hair.
"I couldn't be any happier," Dom told me. "I just wish my family would have been here."
A sadness settled in Dom's features and I kissed his cheek. "I know it's not the same, but we are your family. We'll love you no matter what."
Dom smiled, "I know and I'm grateful every day to have every single one of you."
Rodrigo made his way over and asked to steal his husband and I obliged as I said, "Congratulations again to the both of you!"
The arches of my feet ached as I made a move to walk off the dance floor. Just as I made it to the edge, a body stepped in front of me. When I looked up, the face struck me as vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place my finger on it.
"I don't suppose a beautiful woman such as yourself would do me the honor of a dance?" he asked me. His long dark hair had been tied back in a neat ponytail and his tie had loosened from its knot.
I hesitated at his request and glanced around. In the sea of guests, it was difficult to spot Dante or Luc.
"Just the one," the man pressed. "I promise not to keep you long."
I knew there were a variety of people here, but all of them part of Luc’s world. As disreputable as his work was, it had its own code and I was cautious of causing any issues for him. Navigating the political waters of Luc’s life would be the most challenging part of this world. With no valid excuse not to, I reluctantly agreed. He offered his hand and I took it before he led me back into the merry crowd.
As the man put his arms around my waist, I tensed and, in an attempt, to maintain some distance, I placed my hands on his shoulders.
