"I don't know."
Stefan had asked me a similar question about what I saw in Luc. How was I meant to explain to them that it was an indescribable pull? I loved him despite everything I knew about him.
"I thought I hated him. I thought he was arrogant and prideful," I said, thinking back to when we met. "Somewhere over the past 8 months, that's changed. I fell in love with him." My eyes welled with tears as Dad watched me. "He's a good man, Dad."
Dad looked at me incredulously. "You can't honestly mean that."
Good might not have been the right term to use in front of Dad but Luc was good to me. I had learned he didn't do things without reason. He did right by those he cared about. He worked hard but he was loving and playful.
"What good man behaves as he does?"
I didn't say anything to that. There was no excuse for the things he did, and maybe I was equally as terrible for being able to love him when I knew about how dirty his hands were.
"I thought you had morals, Mia. You're a good girl. You never got into trouble. Why on earth would you want this? Why would you want him? I can't understand it, Mia."
Everything he said hurt. I’d never seen Dad upset or disappointed in me and I started to feel anxious as I stood there. I didn't feel like a 20 year old woman but more like a teenager.
"Mia, will it even matter what I say?"
I looked at my father who had raised me on his own since I was five years old. Dad was my entire world for so long I had never thought to make time or space for anyone else. I’d had boyfriends but the most I felt for them was fondness. It was nothing like the desire I felt for Luc.
"It matters to me," I told him.
"But you won't leave him." Dad sighed heavily and rubbed his hands over his face.
"I don't want to leave him, Dad."
By the look on my Dad’s face, I could tell that wasn’t what he wanted to hear. It felt like we were on sheets of ice that were drifting further apart. How could a few months change us like this?
"Mia, I'll never be able to support this. I'll always want better for you," Dad told me.
The knot twisted uncomfortably in my stomach and I could sense what was coming before he even spoke.
"You need to make a choice, Mia," Dad said. "I know I can't stand to watch you throw your life away for him."
A lump formed in my throat. How was I meant to choose between Dad and Luc? I loved them both and they both played a significant role in my life. My limbs felt numb from anxiousness as my brain pondered over everything about the two men and it stopped on one small fact—Luc had never asked me to choose. His relationship with my Dad was strained, but even before we were together, he allowed me to spend time with Dad. Luc wanted to see me happy. Right now, my happiness didn't outweigh my Dad's hatred towards Luc.
"I love you, Dad."
"I'm so glad, Mia..."
"But I also love Luc and I can't stop that." My voice was a whisper and it hurt to swallow. I felt the tears burn my eyes at what I was about to do.
"You're choosing him?" Dad asked. "After everything I've done for you."
"I'm sorry, Dad."
Dad’s expression turned blank and I bit my lip, willing the tears not to fall.
"Don't expect me to pick up the pieces when this falls apart," he spat at me. "Don't say I didn't warn you. I think I'd like you to leave now."
Numbly, I did as Dad asked. This was not what I had expected to happen. I thought he would listen to me and eventually accept my decision. His duty as a father was to want what was best for me, I couldn’t deny that, but it didn’t give him a right to try and dictate how I lived my life.
I slid into the car and shut the door before letting the tears fall. Screaming out my frustration, I banged my fists against the steering wheel. I had put my trust in Luc, and I hoped and prayed that I wouldn't regret the decision I had made.
When I returned home from Dad’s, because that's what Luc’s place was to me now, my home, I barely said a word. It took Luc some pressing before I admitted what happened. Although I could see the relief in his eyes that I loved him enough to stay, it was overtaken by the fury he felt at Dad for putting me in that position.
That night, I laid my head on Luc’s chest muttering quietly through my tears about how I no longer had any family. I had left my Dad, severed a bond I never imagined would break, and my heart ached with every beat. The exhaustion from the day started to set in and my eyelids felt heavy with fatigue. The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was Luc’s voice as he kissed the top of my head.
